Tuesday, January 30, 2007
it's been a few days since i've blogged. well.. tired lah. haha. hmm.. let's start with last sunday.
Sunday, 28/01/07
went to the band fiesta at singapore conference hall. wow. our band did preety well.. (:(: . dear accompanied me and haha!! love it! haha. after the concert went lau pa sat to eat. with kadri and qido. (: sweet uhh. haha, yeah. even though it's like.. few hours only.. still, we had a great time. reached home arnd 10 plus and sweet dreams.
Monday, 29/01/07
met mum at her office. was supposed to buy new pair of shoes. but.. in the end, changed mind. had a great lunch with her at jurong point and went to her office till dad fetched us. but den, dad couldnt make it. so..we went home by train.. it's like a.. 1 hour 15 mins journey.. and mum is havin her anxiety attack again. haha. lol. it's ok lah mum. im here. (: yah. reached aunt hse for dinner at 6.45. den.. went home arnd.. 8. and after that taught bro and managed to help him alot in his revision and hmwrk. yeah. soon after that, sweet dreams, off to la la land.
Today, 30/01/07
met mum again at jurong point. yeah i knw im crazy cause i made my way from serangoon to boon lay to meet mum. seriously, im bored. im starting work tmr at siam kitchen!! yay-ness. with aqidah! hahhaa. nite shift. arhg. hmm.. den during lunch time dear met me and mum. we were at john little when he popped up. hahaha.happy happy! so mum went back to her office and left us alone at jurong point. we decided to watch a movie. gridiron gang. nice show. den after that we went swensens. dear treat me ice-cream there. so sweet! love ya. haha. yeah. den after that dear send me home. on our way home, upon reaching.. saw mum and dad again. haha. cool.
yeah. that was wad happened 2 days ago? haha. yeah. well.. tmr i'll be working form 5-10pm. well.. have to break a leg for that!~ damn. haha. wokay. shall stop here. kinda late now. wanna talk to dear. shall update tmr.
nite, sweet dreams.
La la la.
Coit Tower. YUM!
-& i leave you @ 23:23 :)
Thursday, January 25, 2007
the radio is like.. playing the song.. welcome to the black parade by MCR. and i reminds me of him. hais. nope, we didnt fight. juz simply some obstacles that im facing currently. hais. i dunno why, but it's always the case that my love is beeing put to test. it's sucha shitty feeling. and everything goin hay-wire now. hais. everyone was inviting me to their parties and.. towning and wadeva. but dang. hais. cant go out. i dun even have any money left! hais. broke like hell. and mum deductin my allowance. and she deducts more than 50% due to my phone bill. yeah. im not blaming him. im blaming myself. for talking to him too much. even though he never admits or say sorry cause usually he wants to talk to me. and seriously, i feel like being single once again. yeah. but.. i dunno why. this feeling comes and go. once again, it feels shitty.
everyone is talking abt their holidays. how fun it was. going town and shop and wadsoeva. of coz i love to do that too.. but.. juz that.. i cant get wad i want. all i can do is to stay at home. yeah. and gerald tan will always NOT console me. he will say.. sumthing sumthing sumthing sumthing sumthing but then.. sumthing sumthing sumthing. & damn, im getting tired of it. can u juz like. pity me once for an instance. hais. i guess it's true. u knw wad gerald tan? sumtimes.. i dun blame u. cause u are still learning. and i dunno wad u are learning.. and whenever i say sumthing like this, u will like.. "i dunno wad is going on." and "i still cant confront u, i knw. im sorry ar......." it's been MILLIONS of time i've heard that. mayb qido is rite. it's time to for u to realize. but i dunno when. maybe things will get better when we separate is it? hais. i need to be alone. but. argh. damn. im simply confused. gerald tan will NEVER come to me and confront me. when im sad and wanna put down the phone, he will say. "anything." yeah. ANYTHING. & i was like. oh. ok. u not gonna hold me back? and yeah. i put down the phone. hais. the problem doesnt starts with him. it;s juz that whenever i have a problem, he cant help me with it. he wuld be the blur blur type. and i hate it. yes, i HATE it. im sorry. but i have to let it out. come wad may. only God will listen to me, & ans my prayers.
cause gerald tan simply cant do that.
but, i still love u.
that's the biggest problem.
-& i leave you @ 22:17 :)
Wednesday, January 24, 2007
alrite. things went out well today. hmm.. kinda tired.. and my arms are like killing me. well.. im on the phone with dear now, and he's talking rubbish. haha. only God knws wad we were talking abt. LOL. anyway, i accompanied him to cut and dyed his hair today. at first, he looked like a full-time monster, with his hair all long and ugly. haha. but den, after the haircut, haha. damn i cant say anything more or less. cause he looks nice, though. even if it's too short to be considered by me, i think he looked preety good. and then comes the best part. dye hair. haha. he chose a so called natural brown colour. but turn out to be......................... ( ppl, see for urself. ) haha. no comments. hint hint. he looked really like a part-time ah-beng. haha. lol. even if he claim he wanna be a full-time. but still, deep within, i knw he is not that kind of person. if he is, i wuld not have fallen in love with him. (: so.. he's still innocent lah. (: den.. after applying the solution, he kinda had this big, ugly, stupid machine which surrouds his head. it looks like it was playing a loud music for him. juz like a stereo headset. however, when i asked him, all he culd ans is.. "hey. i feel heat. " i sat there, with jaws wide open and deep within i cried for help. he's mad. haha. ok nvm. drop it. so.. ok lah. things went off well. after the salon thingy we went to buy hotdogs. makan time. den proceeded home.
i dunno y, but i think i shud stop asking myself whether he culd be there with me always. cause i knw he will. even though our race may bring us apart one day or so.. but i think.. he culd understand me better than anyone else. gees, i love him alot. haha. well.. many ppl were asking me how's things. in fact, we are still together and things turn out preety well after 7 months ++ . haha. yeah. i didnt knw that it culd be this long. but still, i wunt forget the times we shared together in secondary sch. i hope this is sumthing that i can be proud of when i grow up. a simple realtionship which taught me more bout life. ahah. so, i hope, things will remain the same between us and we try to get along much much better in the days ahead.
it's late now, till then.
i loveyou. that's the reason why. (:
accidentally in love?
i guess.. it still is. (:
-& i leave you @ 22:50 :)
Sunday, January 21, 2007
today, stayed at home the whole day except for lunch and dinner. haha. felt tired and restless all the way.. cause last nite.. talk to dear on the phone from 12 to 5.30am. he slept at arnd 5 plus too and woke up at 8 plus to go for work at 11. haha. pity him slept only for abt.. 3 hrs? haha. but stil, he can do his job preety well. (:
yeah. once again, im blogging late at nite. tmr going polyclinic with dear and OCBC bank to do sumthing. hais. tiring lah. but it's ok. mapling later with him, i think. haha.
till then.
fifo.
and btw. i heard the news. pls ppl, buck up. i knw u guys can do it. no time to lose. provided.. u guys give up TOTALLY. which i advice nt to. hais. even if, i shall be supporting u guys.
-& i leave you @ 23:04 :)
sorry for nt updating these few days. cause.. seriously, i have nth to blog. haha. hmm. everthing seems fine except for sumthing happened at home. which i think i get it over alrd. lol. hmm. i dunno whether i shud say this or not. but well, i think i juz say it out of my own risk. haha. well. dear taught me how to play maple. ok. fine. stop laughing. i knw it will be ridiculous for a gal like me to play an online game. but.. wad to do? he's been bugging me to play since.. last year? bt seriously, i simply cant get the hang of online games or wadeva u call it. ok. so.. i started playin it. for ur info, i think my pride dropped by 40% due to that game. haha. seriously. i was like a stupid fool. i dun even knw anything. haha. first time playing an online game. sounds pathetic but still, abit alrite to me. haha. lol. still trying to improve on my skill. thanks to dear, he helped me along. haha. and sure, he was damn happy that i agreed to play. (: haha. yeah. and oh ya! one last thing. i think i will be going to the polyclinic or sumthing. i think the black patch arnd my mouth is like.. not going off? wanna see wads the cause of it. hmm. shall ask dear accompany me.
so.. till here then. its late now. shall talk to dear on the phone. (:
soLong.
-& i leave you @ 00:19 :)
Tuesday, January 16, 2007
i dunno y, but i think. i miss skook so so much. yeah. i miss those moments whereby i would go arnd disturb ppl when they are doing their stuffs. and.. i also miss hopping on to 4e2 and search for qido. haha. yeah. haiz. 4e3. miss them lots. thats where i met dear and fell in love with him. lol. haha. it's true anyway. haha. (: yeah. and i willnot forget that corner back in class during poa class. haha. when mrs yeo going thru poa lesson.. i will doodle and doodle and doodle. haha. lol. sorry cher. hgaha. (: hmm. anyway, i miss the skool food too. haha. yeah, i knw it sounds kinky. but.. haha. lol. i miss it. (: hmm. yeah. and not to forget, i miss my classroom!!!!!!!! only god knws how i miss it!!! argh damn. kks. nvm. drop the topic.
hmm.. today nth much happened. juz meet up aqidah at HQ. (: den talk as usual. made birthday card for sumone. haha. (: til then, shall update more tmr. (: going for another job interview with qido..
and i loveyou.
-& i leave you @ 20:44 :)
Monday, January 15, 2007
wokay. juz now afternoon went out with dear. compass point. haha. nice lah. great outing. run errands for mum after that. tiring! hmm.. wad else to update..
oh ya! band. i miss them! goodness!!!! must meet them on wed. dun care! haha.
erm. well.. last weekend was rocking. haha. my musketeers came to aunt hse. and goodness, they've grown so much! i wonder wad they ate. haha. yeah. played with Alysha. i love her so so much! (: her hair is simply gorgeous,i can say!. Danial. damn. hahaha. as usual, bump into everyone & EVERYTHING. yeah. that's how he got those bumps on his head. haha. and my active and super-fierce shyafiqa. aha. always going arnd shouting and screaming. and got this small problem of not wanting to wear her diapers after her bath. haha. & last but not least, left with nuryn. ok. maybe.. after all not the 3 musketeers. 4 musketeers, i shall say. cause.. nuryn is still a baby. haha. she's so fair. and i will never forget her sweet smile!!!
haha. yeah. i knw. these kids make me happy most of the time. haha. yeah. ok then. till here. shall update more tmr.
let's fall in love all over again.
forgive all ur mistakes
and be simply us.
the clock goes anti-clockwise now.
& let it be... 01-06-06.
Love Begins.
-& i leave you @ 22:42 :)
Friday, January 12, 2007
was suppose to go for band today. but i simply cant. mum told me that one of our relatives passed away. i dun think i am that close to the family. but still, condolences to the family.
alrite. start off day as usual. ate bread for breakfast. den.. juz laze arnd. watch the tyra banks show. ok lah. nice. (: actually. seriously, i've got NOTHING to update. haha. well. shall update to nite ok? til then, i shal finds interesting things to do. hah.
-& i leave you @ 11:54 :)
Thursday, January 11, 2007
alrite. that's it. i got only 5 mins to blog. thanks to bro. coz he wanna play that stupid online game. lol. summarised version of today's event.
woke up at 8.3am. clean hse. went out to meet mum at her office at 10.30. caught up with her for lunch. ate ban mian at banquet. went watson buy sweet. bought waffle. went into a shop called japan home, which i think it's only a bit interesting. haha. yeah. suppose to meet dear after that. anyway, mum's office at boon lay. yeah damn far, i knw. went jurong point with her. so.. after that, nth to do, beep qido. arranged a meeting to meet her at hougang mall. went mum office awhile till 1.45 den left her. yeah. took train back again. my butt is seriously hurt from seating. haha. den.. went arnd hougang mall. qido ordered nuggets. yeah. so many kiddos from this sch which i think is really making a hell lots of noise. but nvm. wad to do? kids. haha. so.. after that.. bored. slack at my hse. qido was like full of nonsense. haha. as u can see, im in a rush now. gtg. haha. bro nagging alrd. damn! tc tc.
lala ala lala.
-& i leave you @ 21:59 :)
Wednesday, January 10, 2007
went cp juz now, with aqidah. well.. juz had lunch togteher with her and talk abt latest events. ahah. ok lah.not tat bad though. haha. aqidah told me that her cousin work at the MOE thing.. and maybe.. ruslts will be out on feb. yeah. dunno true or not ar. but possible. haah. yeah.. so.. juz now.. slacked at the library with ehr. mendak like mad. haha.
oh ya, btw. i've alrd settle things with dear. finally sumthin gets into his head. =x. aiyoh. boys nowadays. haha.
i dunno wad else to update. juz that.. syf is coming near.. and im scared for them. gotta buck them up!!!! haiz. kks. till here.
-& i leave you @ 21:39 :)
Monday, January 08, 2007
after 7 months together, this is my first time blogging abt the negative side of him. i dun really mean to do this. but.. somehow or rather, i have to let it out. arguments tend to happen in relationships. yes, of coz it does happen in mine. i dunno y. most of the time i blame him for the wrong things he did. y? becoz he is in the wrong. he admits it. ok nvm. but now.. im sick and tired of blaming him.. and nth gets into his head. maybe not nothing. but some of the things. yes, he's learning. but.. at sum point of time, i cant help it, but to burst out. now, all i got to do is to blame me. yes. me, myself. be it wadeva. as wad happened today,let the blame be on me, ok? im not being harsh or sarcastic or wadeva. i say it with my heart. juz put the blame on me. y? becoz i dun want things to get sour by another arguement. ppl may say.. why dont juz break up? i dun think thats the best way to settle things. there must be a way to it and i believe in that. yeah. sumtimes, i pity him.. coz always get scolded from me.. and he is having relationship for the first time in his whole life.. and the first time he really approach a gal with love. that's my weakest link and the reason why i always gave him chances to learn.
despite givin him all these chances, i dunno y.. sum things he do keeps me irriated and frustrated. yeah. maybe most of the times. i dunno y. last time im not so hot tempered towards him likenow. i juz dunno y.
dear, maybe i showed u my attitude or sumthing. im sorry for that. really sorry. but i juz dunno how to explain things to u. seriously, i dun. u dun even knw many things that i did, to keep this love alive. do u knw that how many times a day, i listen to those songs that reminds me of our love? how i talked to mum every nite abt the nice things u did to me? how i talked to bro abt how good are u in cars? how i talked to aqidah bout ur funny dialogues? how much i fight my fears of not losing u everyday? how many times i kept readin to ur msges every nite before i sleep? have u ever think of why i keep quiet out of the sudden, but at the same time, having a smile on my face? facade? im juz listening to the voice within. thats all. there's many things u have to learn. yes, i understand. but... it all takes time. and seeing u repeating those mistakes is like.. a knife being stabbed into my heart. for wad happened today at the airport.. yes, its a very small thing. but it reflects ur character to me. and im so sad abt that. u kept quiet all the way. every single second of that silence is killing me.
so now.. im blaming myself.
i blame myself for my silence too.
i blame myself for not talking to u nicely.
i blame myself for not understanding ur position.
i blame myself for crying.
i blame myself from walking away.
i blame myself for fallin in love deeply.
and.. i blame myself.. cause i cant forget u.
accidentally in love?
i wish and i prayed, it still is.
cause..
i've got u.
-& i leave you @ 20:50 :)
Thursday, January 04, 2007
mOrning!! haha. juz woke up arnd 10 plus? haha. quite bored lah. haha. bro went skool.mum and dad work. haha. alone seh. hhaha.. hmm. today going out.. with dear. watching death note 2. haha. watch the first part. and it'slike.. so nice. hahha. it's a muz-watch movie. haha. to me lah. haha. yeah.. meeting dear at 1.15pm s'goon mrt station. wondering wat to wear. (: today i heard got band.. but argh. alrd promised dear to watch movie with him since i off today from work. talking bout work, damn, i quit. lazy type here wad happened. haha. (: ok then. shall stop here. update again tonite. (:
soLONG.
-& i leave you @ 11:36 :)
Tuesday, January 02, 2007
alrite.. i knw its kinda late.. but.. didnt knw y suddenly got the urge to blog. ahaha. hmm.. well.. yest was my 7month anniversary with dear. haha. so fast time passes by. well.. 31dec went countdown with family and relatives after hari raya haji. (: haha. den.. nearly met dear at marina there. but too bad lah. was damn crowded. afterall, i think he was tired after a whole day at work. hmm. yeah. its fun lah. celebrate new year and our anniversary together. haha. after the countdown went home..
the next day.. 1jan.. went out to town with mum, bro me and dear. haha. well.. lucky dear can get comfortable with mum. haha. or else.. phew.. i think it will be the most boring outing ever! haha. actually was suppose to meet him at j8 to catch a movie. but as usual, public holiday. all packed. den decided to go town. mum bro and i met him at plaza sing. den went taka and robinsons. ahaha. mum was like.. joking with him once in a while. ahha. nice lah. even though dear didnt really gave me anything as a present, but the outing was damn nice. haha. at least mum knew how gerald is like. haha. bro? dun mention. he was having a great time.. ahaha. as usual, active. ahah. den.. while waiting for dad to fetch us from town,dear bought me haagen daz ice cream..which i think it's kinda sweet lah actually. haha. (: yeah.. den talk with one another.. yeah.. and when dad reached, he make his way back home for dinner. my family went to changi for dinner and then to changi beach to meet relatives. went home arnd 1.30am.
today.. nth much happened. juz slack. actually.. there was sumthing happened. but. dun wanna write in here. argh. dun wanna talk abt it. but the whole afternoon went aunt hse.. juz sit arnd.. have tea time together. yeah. den juz now.. arnd 9.30 till 10.30pm talked to dear on the phone. he sang a song for me. so sweet. haha. even though his voice is quite bad, as i can say. hahha. sorry dear. haha. well.. its the thoughts that counts. haha. (: sang the song welcome to the black parade by MCR. and my heart will go on by celine dion. hahah. jokes. but hey. haha. fun lah. haha. oh ya. before that my bro was interrupting us on the phone. ahha. SUMTHING HAPPENED. and we 3 laughed like mad. haha. i cant tell, but looks like.. it will be the best joke ever. haha. hahahhaha. ok then. till here. lazy to type longer. yeah. plain lazy.ahaha. till then.
oh ya!! tmr skool starts. break a leg ppl! haha. im sure u guys can make it thru the year! (:
accidentally in love.
-& i leave you @ 23:27 :)
