Because Of You..

2008-01-01T23:42:00.000+08:00

moved here>

re-link, alrite! thanks!

2007-12-30T13:17:00.000+08:00

before i leave 2007, i would like to close this blog with a story. a story which i never thought it would ever happen in my life. maybe there were a few times where i really sat down and thought abt it, but never once i knew that it would be such a heartbreaking one. a story which makes me want to leave 2007 as soon and welcome 2008 with an open heart..

i knew gerald is a chinese guy. yes, gerald. my bf. 1 and a half years ago, i never thought that our differences can tear us apart so badly. i start to feel that maybe one day, when we go our own separate ways, it may be due to our differences.. everyday i kept thinking abt this diffferences (race and religion) between us and everyday, i fought my way through to stay together, as one to keep this love burning. but i didnt know that it will turn out to be some disaster that happen too soon. and yes, with this, i broke up with him permanently. why? because his parents objected our relationship.

i dunno wad is going on within his family. all i knw is that his dad, kind of mentioned that it is tough if his son continues this relationship with me and he said that there are alot of differences. and he strongly felt that this relationship cant go on in a way.

so last thurs, i went for my 4e3 class chalet. and then.. gerald found some time and sat with me. he told me everything and just wanted a frend to frend kinda relationship. and i was disappointed. everythign was perfectly fine when suddenly he said that. it was a big blow to me. really. so suddenly he came out with the decision. i was speechless. yes, i was.

i went to a place all alone and try to fix this whole puzzle thing. i dunno wad went wrong and so suddenly, he wants to leave me. from day one, he promised that never he will leave me and thigns will be okay with him arnd. and i trusted him. and look, who left me. i can dare to say that he messed things up, as in.. he say things at the wrong time and he say it wrongly. he left me hanging just like that. and when i asked him for a reasonable explaination why must he take things so fast and why he make this harsh decision, he said that he cant be with me. its the matter of time. no matter wad, we still have to part. cause he said we cant be together anymore. and he cant lead me on.

but wad about me? i knew abt this all along and everyday, i fought day and night to keep this love alive. and now, after leading me through, you gave up and left me all alone like this? he started tis chapter and i truly understand his parents concern abt his relationship with me. but, he shuldnt say it so direct, till it stabs right through my heart. and with that, i respect his decision. cause i knw he cant go against his parents words. but is this the way to end things? by having one night, talk abt it and ta-dah! leave me. and in that second, he is my ex-boyfrend. how could he?

its okay if he HAVE to leave me due to our differences, because his parents said so. i truly understand that. with that alrd, it hurts me. but is this the way, he should do it? throw everythign at me? and i couldnt take it when he said that he still love me no matter wad and nothing can stop him from loving me. i will always be in his heart forever. wad does that mean? i must hold on things and cant be together? does that mean our love will kept unsaid forever? so when can i move on? with him saying that, i am afraid to love again. maybe not love, but to have a frend to be a special frend.

and so, after seekign answers from him, i truly respected his decision, even though it takes me 3 days after to know everything.

as for now, we are no longer together. simply frends. maybe we are not fated together. wad his dad may be right. we cant be together. it will be tough if we were to separate when we get thigns serious. so, rather do it now, den to break each other hearts later on in life.

yeah. i knw he will still love me no matter wad. and i will love him too. but maybe, i wouldnt put that love at the top. somewhere deep down. this teenage love will never be forgotten. its just that his parents take things serious abt us and wants to stop everything, before it gets too late. and i respected that.

mum told me to forget everything and start a brand new chapter in life. and i have to move on. yes, i will. but it may take me days, months, even years to move on completely. i dunno. but all i want u guys to knw is that we parted not due to our stupid quarrels or something. just simply..... our differences.

and with that, i say goodbye to year 2007. i'll close this blog an open a new one in 2008, which is in a few days time. till then, the rest is still unwritten.

so that night, he held me close, shed tears of sorrow, and cry our heart's out to see our love pass by. and i went home from that bbq arnd 10pm. he waved me goodbye and that was the last time we showed our love to each other. we start off the reationship with our secondary sch frends arnd and end it with their presence too. they were the witness that night. and so does the stars...
goodbye, love. till we meet again.

2007-12-18T22:40:00.000+08:00

MAY NOT BLOG FOR A PERIOD OF TIME

APOLOGIZE FOR THE MACAM-MACAM / UNNECESSARY TROUBLE. (?)

ANYWAY, BE BACK REAL SOON.

MOST PROBABLY, CHANGING SITE. LOL.

TAKE CARE PEOPLE!!!!!!

2007-12-13T10:06:00.001+08:00

so busy and i am so lazy to update! ugh. haha. but nvm. photos of my relative's wedding! woots! enjoy, peeps!

WEDDING DINNER.

NEXT DAY: WEDDING LUNCH

ok. thats it. (:

2007-12-02T20:10:00.000+08:00

i ever wondered whether ppl really notice my feelings. seriously. sometimes, all i want is to break free. maybe not in a way that i want things to totally get out of my mind. but then, i just want things.. to get clearer.

so today, i find it sucky. she said that she wanna go starhub and change the plan thingy. in the end, she didnt. why? because she said she's tired. the best thing was, she said yesterday, "ok. tmr we go, ok? we go out." it was tentatively yesterday. but lazy queue, den never. bagus lah tu. ugh. and him? God kows where he went. he said he go to his friends house. and he shouted at me. wth. and then she said, because i am rude to him, and shouted at him, thats y he talked to me like that also. Wow. look who is the older one here. i thought he is suppose to be the understanding one, to stay together as one. but look, i am beginning to feel that he is changing, AGAIN. i dunno lah. so, i dun think i wanna mention it here. after all the stupid stuffs that happened,i went to bed. try to forget everything. and the climax was, he went back home. oh. why not just stay at ur frends house? wad, at macpherson, or bedok? oh. i thought u not coming back at all. -_-. so now, everyone is minding their own business. oh yes. did i mention that we suppose to watch movie, together. the 4 of us, but minus him, because he said. "ni movie semua tak minat." fine. count him out then. in the end, she went market, go cook lunch. fine. nvm. still can take it. den, when i asked her abt today's plan, to go to the starhub thingy, she gave a vague reply. alrite. thats it. NO HOPE. den she said e movie thing, she will take leave, and go out. yes ar. its as if i dun have school. fine. nvm.

i realize that, at home, i didn't really show them my real feelings. i mean, just to please them? or maybe just not to make matters worse. and in fact, i am not jealous of my bro. he is likeable. i know. but as what dad said, "all u knw is to study. u dunno what humor is." ok. fine. if my bro is the one that u like the most, den be it. i cant be bothered anymore. sometimes when my friends tell me about their family outing.. like.. going for a picnic.. go exercise.. movies. go town... or stay at home and chit chat, wihout any quarrel.. so suddenly, i feel inferior. all i get is complains. sometimes, when i get home frm sch, thigns are alrd haywire. with my bro. hais.

since i blog all abt it, why not saying all my hearts out?

i still remember vividly when he whacked me real hard for attending band. thats so crappy. i cried one whole night in my room, without anyone approaching me. not even mum. thats where i realize i have to be very independent. yes, it is too muh for a 17 year old gal.

even some of my frends asked why i cant stay over for chalets.. stay till morning for bbqs.. sometimes.. i really wonder why. i am shy to tell my good frends, who are purely innocent why. yes, for those who doest know things, up till now, i cant stay over at chalet, and i can only attend bbqs till... latest... 10 plus. and then, i have to go home. even if im hanging out with the innocent ones. it's pathetic. i know. but wad to do? he laid the rule out clearly. and most of u wonder.. so where is my life?

i tell u. my life, is to study, stick with my family, laugh here and there with my frends. after sch, straight home. wanna go out, have to ask them. even if im going to compass point or hougang mall. call it pathetic, call it weird, call it stupid, call it crappy. i've said it. and yeah. im done. i knw all of u will go.. " wah. really ar? so strict ar?" ok. take that.

and with this, i only thank my dearest bf. he is the one who knows everything and in fact, understand all of my wants and needs. even sometimes, i cry, just to wonder why my life with other ppl is so different.

and mum, if u are reading this, pls dun get offended. no matter how u see in me, as a mature daughter, i stil have feelings and there will always be a kid in me. i am only 17. i still have things to enjoy for. i knw its difficult for u and dad to have that trust in teenage nowadays. but the word trust always involve risk. and u have, to start believing in me. maybe u all alrd did, but i just wanna tell u that i feel... different. yes, its good to be different. but.. sometimes, being the odd one out is difficult, mum. i am doing my responsibilities, by studying and fulfilling your needs. i am studying hard, trying to get close with all 3 of u. i always try to make everyone happy in the hse. maybe there are habits that i am still trying to get rid of. but im trying my best. but, i love all of u.

im just trying to let my hearts out. thats all.

2007-11-27T20:48:00.000+08:00

band performance was awesome! haha. mum came down and supported me. so did grandma! (: and aqidah, nurul and bf! ily. (: haha. played pirates of the caribbean, sock hop tonight, final countdown, i will survive and tequila. hahah. i took loads and loads of photos. serious. but sadly, all with nurul. hais. nvm. shall haunt her down! hahhahahaha. (:

seriously, the feeling of playing trombone is really great. when i set up instrument and everything, it reminds me of the good ol times. and i really miss the times in band. even though we are not so good or up to the standard yet, i felt that the times we spent during band times cant be erased. even though i was the "old" one playin on that performance at lau pa sat, it felt good to be part of the huge family once again. hais. if only i could turn back the time.........................

ok. so, after performance, we headed to kfc at kovan. (: with some of the band members. haha. fun lah. (: read nurul's blog. haha. lazy to type it in al here. haha. since she so free, she typed it all in. hahha. (:

monday, school was oh-so-bad. haha. i hate the problem statement, but i managed to complete it, without any negative comments from faci. (: hahha!

and today, problem statement is like the same as last week's. ugh. cant really expand my thoughts as much. but nvm, in the end, we managed to present it. well, just passable? hah. i dunno lah. ahha. but ok lah.(:

hmm.. shall stop here. photos wil be uploaded later lah. not now. not today. alrite.

and oh yeah! bf gonna cut his hair short! weee. cant wait to see him tmr and accompany him. (:
<3

2007-11-23T11:11:00.000+08:00

im in class right niw and seriously, i am so so tired & sleepyyyyy.!! ugh. been complaining abt this lately!
faci is talking non-stop hits and yet, i think i missed out a lot. ugh. he's beating arnd the bush! hahhaha!
oh yeah. bf going sentosa today with his fam and i couldnt meet him today. awwwww. but im sure he will have lotssa fun there. thanks to his camera that he borrowed from his sch. haha. funny lah he.
oh yah. i'll be performing with the BMB at lau pa sat at sunday 25th. near the satay satay place. haha. yet to be confirmed uh. haha. need mroe details, beep me on that day uh. haha. not to worry. my hp wil be with me.(:
other alumnis will be performing too. florence, alice.. and i think regina. sunarto also. derek also. haha. fun lah this ppl. hahha.
and yest, when i went back for band, small derek and sunarto taught me how to play the piano. fun lah. haha. i learned two songs only. twinkle twinkle littlestar a.k.a baa baa blacksheep and happy birthday! hahhaha. (: i knw. its a non-graded song. haha. anws, i have fun oi! haha.
alrite. so now, i just heard faci talking abt customer's satisfaction, customers management, and blah blah blah. (: and yes, i need to catch up with my third meeting. hahaa.
ok set. im endign ehre. wanna concentrate. haha. wokays. ppl, take care.

oh bf. thanks for being there for me, always. (: & yes, no matter wad, our teenage love wil always be there. (: ily.

2007-11-17T15:15:00.000+08:00

no photos, no long posts. just, a short simple post.

to my dearest brother:
dun give up! im sure u can do well for next year. don't play too much lah. aiyoh. see lah. ur results. hais. work hard ok? i'll be there for u! woots!

to gerald: thanks for everything. finally u understood wad i meant and i am sure u can improve. cause no matter wad, ily. i cant wait for us to get back together, when u are ready. yeah.

class was fun, ugh. ahhaa. love hem to the bits.

oh yeah. im performing with my juniors from BMB. haha. (: at lau pa sat on 25th nov. sunday. (: do come and see us uh. well, i myself funno why i agreed to mr goh to play with them. Lol. just... accept lah. like.. nothing much going on, so.. just to kill my past time, besides schooling... just.... well. accept la! hahha. duh.

so pp, enjoy ur weekends alrite? (: haha. i think im going out with mummy and lil bro later on. oh ya. i think my aunt will join too. dunno yet. lol. see how uh. haha. dad have to help out something outside. ugh. duno lah. ahahha. kks. shall stop here.

goodbye, ppl! WEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE...

2007-11-11T14:21:00.000+08:00

Ppl! i wanna tell u guys a secret!! (: i lazy to blog. but but but, i will erm.. update photos! ahahha. ok, here goes.

ECP.
ECP II

ECP III

him & me. TP.
TP Band.
him & me. TP.
edited.

Ok. Done! (: Toodles!

2007-11-07T23:45:00.000+08:00

today was fine. did nothing much. same old thing when hols drop by. woke up arnd 10 am, bathe, had breakfast and watch tv. channel 8, around people's park. ok lah. not bad. was an old show. but nice lah. hmm.. wad else.. oh. arnd 4 plus dad fetch us to fetch mum from office and go out for dinner. i dunno y, when i step into the car, my head wa like spinninggggggg.. ugh. reached mum's office and peek at her. see wda she doing. ok lah. bro and i sat in front of her desk.. do noting. just.. disturb her. hahaa. after that went bedok to eat. den.. dunno where to go, just go giant at tampines. cause i heard tmr my family and other realtives wanna go for a picnic. well. ahhaha. shall see how uh. shud confirm alrd lah. cause mum alrd bought the stuffs for tmr. abit only. not much. cause aunt also bringing some stuff.s Lol. (: hmm. yeah. i bought this cadury hot chocolate drink. in fact, im drnking it rite now. goodness. the taste is oh-so-different than wad i tot it would be. nvm lah eh. hahaha. still chocolate. hahaha. yeah. nw.. getting photos from gerald. yeah. and after that, i wana sleep. will upload more photos tmr nite. wel, after the picnic, i guess. (hope im not tired). haha. (which i thnk i'l be. cause god knows where i get the energy from) Lol. yeah. so.. some expired photos and aqidah's concert photos will be uploaded soon. yeah.

i think thats all for now. i so sleeeepyyyyyyy..
ugh. and guess wad? my head is spinning again. ugh.!

2007-11-06T22:30:00.000+08:00

like finally i got lotssa things to blog about. ok, so here goes!

friday, 2nd november 2007
haha. went for aqidah's concert at tp!! wuhuuu..!! she looks great while playing! hhaha. wow. didnt knw that she still hold on to the skil she have uh. hahaha. i feel proud and happy for her! really.! esp seeing her and kadri up on stage playin the piece together. isnt that lovely? hahha. before that shyaq fetch me from home and well, went tp together. cause seriously, i dunno how to go there by myself, frm serangoon. haah! (: i only played arnd woodlands. hahaha. (: yeah. so, i wore a green and white dress that i bought from forever 21. (: nice. preety preety dress. haha. yeah. gerald came slightly later cause he got some CIP thingy. and after the concert, we thought of taking photos with kadri and aqidah. but see her so happy happy take photos with others and well.. seems like it's her nite! hahha. so, we decided not to disturb her. haha! in the end, shyaq, me and gerald took photos. and we proceed home. as some of u read shyaw's blog, yeah. we played this game. hahaha. the silent game. lol. and guees wad? well, i've lost. hahahah!! (: nvm. u al knew i cant keep quiet rite? den still wanna play! aiyoh. hahha. overall, the evening was great. (:

saturday, 3th november 2007
went for RP's amazing race!! whoah. we came out with a tam of 3. haha. fione, me and shimah. we reach skool and registered. they said flagoff at 10am, but report at 9.50am. so, we got sometime left, we went library to play xbox360. (: hahha. fun! hahha. den, when we report back at 9.50, they say the flagoff alrd. no wonder no one there alrd. aiyoh. hais. bad instruction they gave us. hahaha. but nvm. they whole thing was very inetersting lah. haha. i dun think i wanna type everything here. hahah.but, i tell u where we went. we went first to punggol end, den changi airport, den vivocity, den clarke quay, den amk and then yishun. actually got 1 more to go. queenstown. but the race ended when we reached yishun. so, we went back. haha. at least we were not last. we were the 9 out og 29 team. not bad uh! hahhaha.! after that, we went back skool for dinner and prize giving. shimah and i bathe at the sports complex. so, at least we feel rejuvenated. hahah! (: after everything over, i asked dad to fetch me hahha. lazy go back uh. hahaha. so, i ate sandwich in the car. hahha. still hungry. dunno why! hahaha. i guess i burned alot of energy uh. hahhaa. yeah. thats all for the amazing race. went i reached home, my uncle came over to our hse for hari raya visiting. seriously, i cnt feel the hari raya mood alrd. hais. time passed by so fast! ahaha. and after that, my whole family went to cousinhse at sengkang for gathering. i didnt follow. instead, i hit the sack. so shagggg!

sunday, 4th november 2007
went out with leo, edwin, trupti and shu kang! hahahhahaha. fun like heaven! hahhaa. i miss then oh-so-much! hahha. we went to watch movie. the game plan. haha. the one with the rock and the small kid. hahhaa. funy! hahha. but in the end, i cried. ugh. hahaha. beside leo somemore! ahhaha, paiseh seh. hahah. trupti best! hahha. after sad sad, she can continue eat popcorn seh! hahha. wah lau. hahahhaha. i down there like.. "WOW". hahhaa. after movie, walk walk arnd PS. den. we went to istana park, opposite PS, to take photos! hahahhaa. after that, we went home. we took like.. 77 photos. hahaha. nice seh. now trupti sending me the photos. the folder is so so so so humongous. hahhaha. will show u guys the photos!! overall, i love the outing. hahah. same ol us. (:

monday, 5th november 2007
nth much, slack at home alone. haha. watch hindi movies, since there is a preview on it. star gold. hahhaa. yeah. cook my own lunch. and yeah. nth much. (:

today, 6th november 2007
haha. went out with EO, eliz, ZQ, makoto and shawn to suntec. hahaha. funny funny funny! EO so sweet uh. hahaha. well, hahha. nvm lah eh. dun have to say it here. i also paiseh later. hahha. anw, just wanna thank him for wad he did. hahaha. (: yeah. we watched "the seeker". wah. dark vs the light. nice one! its a must watch. hahha. den took neoprint. hahha. EO suggested it. and we laughed and hahaha well, we took it. ahaha. the machine was so so corrupted. haha. in the end, we have a free take on the other machine. hahaha. fun lah these ppl. well, the wrkshp was alrite. hahahaha!! (: den. went home. now, here i am, blogging! hahhahaa. LOLS. told u got a lot to update. hahaha.!

and i got one more thing. to say. well, i dunno whether it wil be appropriate to say it here. but, i wunt say it drirectly lah. but.. those who gets it, den they knw. those who doesnt, nvm lah eh.

1 year and 5 months was long enough for us to get to knw each other, for now. even though things wont be the same again, i knew, that there will always be room for improvement. im not saying that my love for u fades. but, i just need time for u to get things settle between u and ur family. i dun want to put pressure on u, after so much that has happened. i took my leave and decided to give u fresh air to breathe, so that u can reflect wad u have done and see wad is right and wrong. also, to think abt how much u have knwn me. im sorry to leave u at this time. however, i think it's the best for both of us. i knw each and everyone is unique. but sometimes, it's difficult to explain things to u. gerald, im sorry. i can guarantee u this. in my heart, until now, there is a place for u. not much, but at least, just for u. we might find a place in this world someday. but at least for now, i gotta go my own way..

yeah. thats it for now. so, pictures! hahaha. these are the non-edited one uh. edited ones will be at my frendster. LOL. hahha. late alrd. dun wanna edit now. ok. so here goes the pics!

& they were the ones that make me laugh!
tunnel. oh tunnel. act emo only. haha.
this is wad happenes when leo is all warmed up. ahhaha!!
fighter!
oh. we are so not prepared for this. hahah!
poster girls?
ouh. non-perfection. (?)
awwwww!

history unites!
deprived kids. he once wants to be a power ranger. so do i!
& the guys!
bored.

edwin is so so so so so long. oops. i mean, tall. (:
nice show. must watch!!
trupti: why sit so far? got hole.

fifah & leo : erm. ya lah. why u so far? Lol. hahaha.
again. cheese!
awwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww!

2007-11-01T16:37:00.000+08:00

well. back to blogging. just finish presentation. later gonna meet aqidah to take the tix for her concert tmr evening. well.. seriously, i cant wait to see her play the trombone! it kidns reminds me of the time we used to play together in secondary school. i really miss her like super mad. haha. i bought a dress from forever 21 days ago, just to wear it for her concert. and its so damn preety lah. i like. green and white. not bad. (: hahaha.

family's been fine., seriously, i got nothing to say. even if there is, only god knows. (:

w24b was oh-so-great. i love! hahha. we celebrated halloween yesterday. well, isnt that obvious? hahhahaha. through the pix of coz! haha, (: the whole class kinda wore black. haha. and my frend said that we looked like the black marias. hahaa. Lol. wadeva la eh. hahha. dinie kena make-up by vanessa and corine. damn funny lah. but he look good, though. hahha. din had a surprise belated bdae party and also kena make up! hahha. he have beautiful eye lashes, u knw! jealous! ugh. hahhaha! den took loads and loads of photos! (: went back with part-time bf, EO, shawn the elf and elizabeth the crazy witch!! (: hAHhahah! walked all the way to mrt station. shawn and i took train, while elizabeth and EO took bus.

den met up with gerald.... blah blah blah. no comments. no references also. simply, no comments.

up to u lah. if u think u rlife is upside down, den let be it. i dun wanna get involve. do wad u want. im keeping myself happy. thats for damn sure. i have my frends, u have urs. u have YOUR FAMILY, i have mine. so, i quit. see how far this goes. & look at the damage behind u that u have left.

so thats it for now. (: nth mucbh to update. gonna leave school soon and then met up with gf at hougang mall. and guess wad? i cant wait to camwhore. (: woots!

2007-11-01T01:09:00.000+08:00

picture of the day.

ZQ the witch doing his research. (:
witch-ed out.
7 ladies and 1 gay.
nice one, vanessa.
project runway.

hannah, me.
vanessa, hannah, me.
EO (part-time bf), Shawn, Su, ZQ (team of the day)
woots! part-time bf in class!! hahahahaha!! thanks to makoto.
me, elizabeth, hannah.

peirong, su (the sri lankan student), me.
pei rong, zoey (my toilet buddy), me
syahren (a.k.a : steven su), din, saf
me, zoey's cake, zoey.
happy halloween, everyone! the black marias. :D

2007-10-30T22:22:00.001+08:00

by popular demand, i am updating my dusty old blog. hais. ok. sch's been fine, ahha. great, awesome. Love it. family's fine. bdae was a blast. thanks to gerald for all the presents. haha. seriously, i got nth to udate lah. when got interesting story, i tell u. but as for now...

i got a part-time bf in class. haha. EO is one, and the other one is my scandal. KEnneth Richie. hahhaha. thanks to Zoey! hahhahah.

when things seems to go wrong, u are not there. and now, i left u all by urself. stop, think, reflect. if thats the price i have to pay, then im willing to do it. you sucha heartbreaker.

2007-10-21T16:05:00.000+08:00

i really hate stomah flu. and i hate it alot. hais. god knws how i feel. hais. anyway, thanks to banquet's fried kway teow with cockles, that i have this forever-pain illness. haha. idiotic man. hais. went toilet like... 8 times yest. and hell it made me dehydrated. haha. yeah. so hari raya was awesome. but, it did not kicked off real good like last year. yeah. haha. last year's was better. now, due to some conflicts or wadnot, things are going a different way now. hais. but its ok. at least my family is not as affected. haha. like yaay! haha. ok.. i read papa's (shyaq's) blog. complaining abt stomach pain also. ahha. yeah. i think the bear family really have stomach pain. haha. wonder who spoiled the menu. hahaha. ok ok. shall not brag here.

tmr sch. ugh. ok. and to add to that double take, it's my birthday! i mean, tmr. hahahahahha!! happy like mad. like finaly, im 17. lol. hahha. yeah. everyone was like saying.. "afifah late bloomer. still 16. so adik ar! " hhaha. adik means little kid. or ...... nvm. just accept it. little kid. haha. ok. so.. im waiting fo rmy another visitor to come. hahaha. and yeah. nothing more to update. haha. shall stop here. (:

like yaay!! tmr's my bdae!!

2007-10-13T21:13:00.001+08:00

and there goes the fasting month. i feel sad to leave ramadhan but.. all things come to an end, rite? so say hi to the month of syawal! haha.

SELAMAT HARI RAYA maaf zahir dan batin to my muslim family, frends and everyone in the world. haha. yes, today was the first day of hari raya and ugh. im so so shacked. seriously. cause u knw wad? its nice to hop on to our grands hse and its good to see our relatives once again after sucha long time. haha. oh. i cant count the number of ketupat i ate and the diff taste of ayam masak merah and rendang from both mum and dad's side. hahhaa. met my cousins and everything. wow. its really awesome. thats y family bonding is so so impt. today wore pink with mum. bro and dad blue. tmr maybe blue. baju kurung again. this year no kebaya. dun feel like wearing though. Lol. so the leceh. haha. and yeah. i ask for forgiveness from everyone. and its time to start a new. in this holy month, i find that its time to have things changing. i hope, things wil just get better for all of us. (:

pictures.. well. erm.. have to wait. seriously, i got loads of picture to upload. i tell u guys wad. one day, i'll post all the expired pictures and also the hari raya photos. ok? each picture tells a story. and i promise u, i will tell the story of each. hahah!

till then, i gtg. wanna have my beauty sleep. tmr still need to jalan raya. aha. (:

and for my wonderful boyfriend, thanks for everything. i love you. (:

2007-10-04T17:39:00.000+08:00

Death. This word has been playing on my mind since the day my grandma passed away and also the recent death of my relative. It's kinda trigger ur mind abt ur current life. Yes, i do admit that it's a tough process to go through. But still, the cycle of life. Hari raya will fall on the 13th October. About a week more to go. And yeah, i miss my grandma. Well, i never once talk about my late-grandma. However, she was an awesome woman on earth. I won't be bragging abt the past though. However, every year during hari raya she will always be on my mind.

Ok. Enuff talking abt it. Let's move on!
Today didnt go sch. Was having fever. Hais. And mum told me to break my fast immediately and see the doctor. Arnd 11 plus i went to Comfort Clinic and Dr Glenn gave me my medicine. I really hope to get well soon. Last few days were great and i managed to spend time with bf. For our 16th monthsary, he bought me a nice necklace an a top at heeren. So sweet. Broke fast at home or sometimes i was late to go aunt hse. Yeah. And the thing that i was excited about for the last few days was the hari raya thingy. Mum and Dad managed to go geylang again with aunt and her family. (: I bought a new pair of heels for Hari Raya and yeah, it's so preety! (: i like. Haha. Ok.. So this weekend i planned to make choco chip cookies, suji and choco cornflakes. (: just like last year. (: and i cant wait for everyone to try it! Haha. So, other than that, nothing to look forward to. Oh ya. I almost forgot. Dad gonna re-paint the hse! Yes!! Like finally! (: Luckuy bro and i didnt fight for the coolours in our room. We kinda negotiated every night. Haha. Love ur lil bro! (:

And yeah, pictures will be out soon. (: till then.

2007-09-22T14:08:00.000+08:00

hahahha!! ok.. so yesterday was hell of a fun. i went to marina sq with ex-classmates (bss) to celebrate syafq's bdae. haha. nice lah. ahaha. fun.. went swensens for dinner. and guess wad? i saw kak yah. haha! didn knw she's working at city hall. haha. den, i saw syuhaida. haha. pri skool frend. LOL. she still the same oldcrazy her. hahha. (: hmm.. photos? coming right up.

2007-09-19T21:40:00.000+08:00

ok. let me tell u the truth, alrite. i was doing my sch work when i logged in into blogger. i thought... while the page is uploading, i would continue doing my RJ.. when i finish doing my work, i realized that i'm lazy to update my blog. ugh. really. im really tired lah can! ugh. ok. nth much happen. just now went out with bf's family. ok lah. fun. Lionel was oh-so-cute. haha! (: thats all lah. so so tired!! anw, sem 2 starts and yeah. class was fun. definitely.

2007-09-15T22:09:00.000+08:00

so.. the month of ramadhan came and without us noticing, it's the third day of the fasting month. ok. sounds kinky, but still. i think time passed by so fast. really. hmm.. let's see..
ok. few days before the fasting starts.. i went out with bf to have a last movie outing together. we watched hairspray. and it was awesome to the max. hahha. well.. he may find it a bit boring cause it's all the musical thingy. hhaa. but still, i make sure he get interested in it. hahha. oh ya. another thing. how sweet of him, to buy me 2 pairs of shoes. not to mention a top from marks and spencer's. not those adult kind of top, but.. a pink and white stripes kinda top. nice. haha. nvm. so.. yeah.. nth much else to update on. haha.
ok. pictures shall do, uh? haha. alrite. till then. toodles.

zac efron is sucha hot stuff.
the bear is so so cute. i tell u. really.! and how i wish i culd tell it/him/her that i have genes of bear.
light.

2007-09-11T20:22:00.000+08:00

reply to tags.

random: haha. that monkey ar. scare us only. swing swing above. haha. anw, sorry to ask, u are....?? LOL.

aqidah : haha. MONKEYS are forever MONKEYS. haha. lucky it didnt terkam us. lol. am i using the proper malay here?

nurul : haha! irritate uh. haha. anw, sorry cause i cant meet u up that day at pasir ris. gotta go sumwhere. haha. (:

so.. weekends were awesome. saturday stayed at home and went out for dinner only. went to eat nasi ayam penyet at changi village with family. nice i tell u. haha. but i ate fish only and vege with dad. haha. after tat went to giant at tampines.

sunday.. stayed at home again.. slack.. mum finally cook!! its been ages + centuries + eons since she cooked. lol. so.. at nite.. cousin came over and we watch high sch musical 2 at disney channel. love it. it was great. so.. cousin and i decided to colour our lives with brighter colours. cause when comes to think of it, it does make us happy at the end of the day! hahah. LOL. really, HSM 2 really had lots of colours in it. and zac efron was hot hot hot. haha. even cousin wants to be like him. haha. yeah.

so.. mon.. stayed at home.. do nothing.. haha. hsewrk only. today.. went out and bf brought me 2 pair of dolly shoes. haha. those flat ones. lazy elaborate. haha. lol? haha. besides that, bought a top from marks and spencers. pink and white stripes with a bit of lace. simple, yet magnifique. and we also bought choco biscuits there. and hell yeah, i wanna buy another pair of skinny jeans. or maybe straight cut kinda pants. skinny jeans .. its like.. i have to take another consideration. cause u knw.. im.. BIG. haha!

i've been watching alot of movies lately. transformers, the simpsons, no reservations, hairspray and many more, (*minus the horror shows*) well.. this few months i kept watching movie with bf. haha. (: well.. i dunno. like fun like tht. hahha. well.. sem 2 gonna start soon and i'll be in the same class as corine. haha. nice one. hmm.. besides that. nth else to update. hahha.

oh ya. i miss BAND. i really do. :(

thanks gerald. for everything. <3

2007-09-09T16:15:00.000+08:00

alrite. i shall not bore you guys with long entries. just some expired photos. (: that's all. let the pics do the talking can? thanks uh.

thanks rohaizad! haha. pasir ris park.
i'm overseas! lol. pasir ris park.
last month's photos? i dunno. cant remember. bleahs.
too tough to act uh?
was just another shot. BORING. =.=

KL melia hotel. credits to toilet mirror.
hotel corridor.
( continuation...) pasir ris park. & damn, there's more fat to burn.!
minus kevin please! haha!
he's not choked.

that's all, i suppose. haha. till then!

2007-09-08T11:19:00.000+08:00

i knew that it has been eons since i last updated. haha. alrite. there's tons to update. haha. and well.. i just dunno where to start! ok. let's start.

last sat, sun and mon went KL, AGAIN. haha. shop like super mad!!!!! bought levi's watch, moshino bag and a top. damn nice, i tell u. ok. not to mention super nice food there. ahah. i really had a fun time in KL. haha. it's quite scary at first cause i heard from the news abt the fight with the malays and indians there. haha. lol. but on the first nite, mum saw indian drunkards fought on the road. omg. scary, i tell u. haa. but that was random. nth to do with the malay and indian fight thing. haha. ok. wad else... hmm.. oh.. went to kenny rogers to eat, again. haha. must take the oppurtunity to eat there when in malaysia. thats the only place where food comes to halal. hahahaha. well.. mostly, i shall say. haha. not to mention dunkin donuts, manhattan and argh! lots more. ok.. besides that, nth much, cam-whored with cousin. for the 3 whole days, i tell u. haha.

hmm.. last tues, wed.. stayed at home.. still feel abit tired from the journey back home. even though my dad was the one driving, but there's pain in my arse when i sat in our car for a long long time. hahha. cousin knws how it feel. (: gahhaha! so. tues and wed stayed at home.. helped my mum do hsewrk.. and spend time with bro.

last Thurs. HAPPY SEVENTEENTH B'DAE TO MY DEAREST BF!!! (: well.. the best thing was.... we met up, and went to breeks cafe at ngee ann city. (: haha. the food was so so delicious, i tell u. haha. bf treat me for the whole lunch. so damn happy. i gave him a shirt that i bought from KL, a carousel that i made by myself (takes a whole lot of patience!!) , spongebob keychain, a handmade card and baked him a double choco cake, which was oh-so-delicious!! hahha. and yeah. his family eventually came to know abt me. haha. and they were so surprised at the amt of stuffs i gave him. haha. and im sure dear enjoyed his day. so.. after eating at breeks, we went to watch a movie. No Reservations. Good show. quite sad lah. but, funny in a way too. hahha. (: after that.. went forever 21 and topshop for shopping. hahha. eventually, i didnt knw wad to buy and i told dear to save it for another time for me. hahha. he bought for me a top from forever 21 recently. so.. i dun think i wanna buy again. LOL? haha. ok nvm. so.. we window shopped and den...mrt-ed to city hall, to go peninsular plaza. look out for skinny jeans. well.. again, i didnt buy anything there. i bought one with my cousins last month and i dun think i wanna buy it again. anw, there were alot of ppl there. haha. as usual. after that, home sweet home. (:

yesterday (friday) went pasir ris park with aqidah and my younger bro for band games day. haha!!!! (: went cycling. ahaah. like finally can spend some time with my all-time bestie aqidah!! hahah. she's sucha sweetheart. haha. her craziness is still there. lol. ahah. ok lah. fun.. saw a monkey. haha. LOL.

so.. today.. i dunno whether mum and dad wants to go out to town or something. i dunno. but i just feel like staying at home and rest. haahha. well.. shall see how. haha. tmr maybe i'll be watching ratatouille with bro and dear. another movie outing. hahha! ok ok. enuff. haha. shall see how tmr. lol. till then. wanna watch tvee. waiting for mum to get back from her office. !! and see wads for lunch! (:

toodles.

2007-08-28T16:20:00.000+08:00

for goodness sake, i really dunno wad to blog. hahha. thigns had been fine, i guess. well.. went for a worksop yest with my CCC friends. had lotssa fun, i guess. ok lah. not bad. (:

hmm.. sat.. went cousin's hse at punggol. damn syiok. ate different kinda cakes. goodnes. it was oh-so-delicious. (: hahha. quote that form hareez blog. lol! hahaha. (: ok lah. i dun think there's anything mroe to write about. haha. thats it then. (:

im looking for the one with the glass slipper, u can be my cindrella, ella, ella, eh, eh, eh.! (:

2007-08-20T10:48:00.000+08:00

ok. so.. weekends were the best. haha. ok lah. finally i have my own time. wel.. i should say.. quality time. LOL. (: ahha. nvm. i start off with friday.

went to watch the simpsons with bro and gerald. haha. fun like super mad. hahha. gerald and i gave my brother a surprise. haha. (: he doesn know that we gonna watch movie. i jus told him that we were going cinelesuire to eat long john silver. hahhaha! and he actually said ok.. but with great great disappointment, i tell u. LOL. haha. den we saw gerald at the eating place there. haha. and he was surprised. ahha. and gerald was like.. "finally, u came." that kinda look. hahha. (: so.. we went to eat at ljs and went to watch movie. my bro was like.. happy. haha. (: we played arcade awhile and den went to the theatre. inside the theatre bro wants to sit with gerald. lol. hahha. so.. i let gerald sit in the middle, so that i have the share of my bf and my bro too! haha. (: so.. we laughed till our heads off while watching the movie. ok lah. not as funy as i thought. but still, funny, LOL. hahha. den after that we went off to meet mum and dad to watch fireworks. haha. so.. the five of us (including gerald) watch the fireworks together. so sad, we couldnt take a photo together. LOL. haha. den.. after fireworks, we wanna have dinner. mum and dad thought of bringing gerald along and send him home afta that. but so sad, he wants to meet his friends, followed by his parents. so nvm, we let him off. so.. my fmaily and i went for dinner at braddell, i think. i dunno where is the place. but nvm. LOL. haha. yeah. so thats all for friday.

saturday? went to hospital to see my uncle. he fell down and have to be admitted to the hospital. but results shows that there's no complications in his body. thats good. hah. so aunt/cousin (i dunno which one to name her. lol) came runnng afta me about her fan. hahha. portable fan, i shall say. haha. long long story. lol. hahha. afta that, went to syakir's hse at sengkang. haha. talked and crapped alot. but pity aunt. nvm. i hope all these problems may come to an end, 1 day, insyallah. (: so..we went home arnd.. 12 plus a.m.

sunday? best. stayed at home. hahha. mum and dad went for weding lunch at woodlands when bro and i stayed at home, killing our time with paint. hahha. something P&C here. haha. cant let it out. or else.. i will spoil the surprise for gerald. haha. so.. yea. stayed at home..at night.. we have dinner out at amk. (: and we met the amk aunt, and not to mention, granny!!! woots! miss her loads. haha. afta that..went home and watch the national day rally. haha. i like..! haha.. returns increase! retirement age at 65!! Punggol 21 wil be so so awesome! home improvement programme! hhaa. (: so much that we listened to. haha. ok..

so now in school.. haha. break time.haha. yeah. so i think i better get to work. or else.. haha. i will get it frm my team members. (:

la la la la la la. im superly, bored. (:

2007-08-15T22:59:00.000+08:00

Things are doing fine right now. School’s been fine; friends are awesome and coping well in studies. Well… wad can I say? It’s gonna be the end of sem1. Haha. (: so, I have a good news then. Haha. I patch things up with Gerald during national day. After a few weeks we’ve settle things down… and make things neutral, I think… from there, we can feel each other’s importance. Yeah. So… I think.. nothing much lah. I think I gonna end here with some bloopers that happened few days ago.

Monday: August 13
After coming back from school with Gerald…

Fifah: umbrella, ella, ella, eh, eh, eh
(continue till we go inside the lift)
Den suddenly a guy came into the lift… look at me with a mono face.

Fifah: ella ella? Eh,eh? (looking at him)

That guy: =.= hmph.

Fifah: ELLA, ELLA (look away)

Gerald: HEHE.

When we exit the lift…

Fifah&Gerald: HAHAHHAHAHA. MONO SIAH.!

Tuesday: August 14
After coming back from school. At home.

Mum: I want to take something from this cupboard. But got lizard. (she tip-toed an look out for it)
Anw, our house rarely got lizards, okay. Haha. Once in a green moon only, I think. LOL. (: ok continue.

Fifah: Oh. Really? Where? Don’t ask me do anything. I scared uh.

Bro: Kill it, mum! Later he will go everywher! Kill!

Fifah: Relax lah. Need tactics, u know.

10 minutes later…

Fifah: WAh mum. Not bad uh. You chase the lizard from the cupboard in the kitchen to the toilet. Hah! Almost half of the kitchen you chased around. Haha. Cool.

5 minutes later…

Mum: Done! I kill it. I sprayed till he got dizzy and died of slow death. Your dad just came out of the toilet and the lizard went down the hole. Fifah! You can bathe now. Your dad alrd come out. And I killed the lizard alrd. Go bathe.

Bro: Aiyoh! Confirm the lizard wil come out from the hole. The spirit also.

Fifah: Mum? I use your toilet okay?

Mum: HURRY UP! I ALSO WANNA BATHE. DON’T MISS YOUR PRAYERS!!

Bro: HAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHHAHAHAHA.

2007-08-07T21:39:00.000+08:00

so today was another ordinary day in RP. just that, i woke up late. yeah. usually i woke up at 7 or 7.15 and have a shower and off to school. but argh. i woke up at 7.55. i thought of not going to sch, but i have UT. and damn it, i only have 12 minutes left for UT and i felt like crying. argh. but still, i managed to do the UT and had 2 questions undone. shit. so.. today's problem statement is so so sucky. nick is rite. just like minesweeper. argh. my team member was doing just satisfactory though. hais. dring second break out i have this major headache and i dunno why. Zhiying was asking me whether i was ok. and my answer was as good as a ten year series ans. "yeah. im alrite." nad ta-dah, i put a smile on my face. but damn, it's so so painful inside. so.. in the end the whole class didnt make COMPPLETE presentation. all was half way through, and cant implant the bomb to the programme.

after class, gerald called me and ask whether we could meet up. it was abit weird after the break up to meet him. so.. since i finish somewhat early, we went to eat at siam kitchen awhile. was alrite though. shared some stuffs. but still, the pain is still there. ok fine. i dun wanna brag anything more.

so tmr bartley gonna have their half day, while RP is busy solving problems in school. hais. how i wish i could go bartley to see my band playing!! didnt really saw them with their full band uni. hais. i hope some1 could take a video and let me see!!! argh. nvm. at least i was there to see them throught their rehearsals.

ok. i am no going to KL on national day. my aunt is going and yeah. if that is best for them, then go ahead. cant afford to hear anythign more abt them. as long as my family is happy, i am happy too. (: bro is so so busy with his maple thing. keep disturbing me. haha. but nvm. he's still growing up though. so.. no plans for national day yet. mayeb fireworks? argh. i dunno. hahhahaa.

alrite.. shall stop here then. shall update tmr. and goodness, im so so tired.

things have changed, doesnt it?

2007-08-06T22:11:00.000+08:00

ok. these few days was alright.. saturday.. hmm.. went fishing with family and relatives. not bad. caught a few fishes. (: when home arnd 2 am. if im not wrong, i slept arnd 3. haha. den sunday.. stayed at home. cousin called and brought home sushi. and i went her house to have a sushi feast. thanks cousin. love u. (: besides that.. nth happens. when back bartley these few days.. and yeah. band was alrite. i was so so happy with shahizan for the post he got. ahah. my junior!! and.. my section is coping well.. i really miss my days in band though. hais. and goodness, i was like slimmer last time in secondary sch, as compared to now. ok. im still on my programme to lose down weight. haha. seriously, i feel nice jogging. except for that time when cousin didnt accompany me. bleah! he ar. action only awhile. but den.. didnt go. hahahha. nvm. its up to him anyway. hmm.. wad else.. was else.. oh ya! i made a new frend this days. well... actually i knew hm since sec sch. lol. but we only got close nowadays. very nice guy. and yeah. he's my therapist!!hahah. i think when he read my blog he should know. hah!

ok. so tmr UT coming up. argh. nvm. dun tension, fifah. im sure u can do it. haha. hais, sadly, i cant go bartley on wed. need go sch. but nvm. all the best, t-boneez. im sure u guys wil do excellent!

t-boneez: u can do it! jia you~!~! be smart okaY? play beautifully. u are not playing notes, but music.

2007-08-02T22:04:00.000+08:00

well.. there's nothing much i could say. sch is fine. everythign's fine. gerald? well.. yeah. we broke up. but hey. dun misintepreted us. we are now good frends. just tat we are taking things slow. we moved on and trying our best to understand each other better and try to solve the problems. as for now, things are starting to calm down and we are indeed good frends. we still meet up and he still acted as if i am stil his gf. but then, as i say. im taking things slow. yeah. it may be his mistake but still.. u knw.. i rather take thigns slow, than having problems after problems running down. so.. yeah.. school was fun. well.. i think i shall update things later on. i mean.. there are a lot of things happened. really. the sweet moments and everything. with family, frends and gerald. but im kinda exhausted to type it in all here. therefore i think i shall hit the sack soon. just finish doing my rj and everything. and tmr is fri! TGIF. haha. wokay.

if only u knew wad was in my heart.
yes, i will always love u. no matter wd.
Accidentally in love?
wad do u think?

2007-07-26T22:36:00.000+08:00

The train came. Kids ran along. Adults waiting patiently. I saw benches. I sat. Announcement heard. Countless lights. Cold. Couples hugging. Doors opened. Doors closed. & the train went. GONE. I was wondering something. Wad was i waiting for? The train, or u? i tried my best to move on and got back together. & now, u're gone, AGAIN. maybe there IS/WAS something wrong between us. was it the way i re-acted or the way he spoke to me? everything is in a mess now. i dunno wad i should do. this is the second time he RAISED his VOICE at me. goodness gracious. everything seems wrong. simply wrong. i dunno wads wrong. argh. i hate this feeling. but it's okay. i told myself to be strong. & be a good gal. i guess, thats fate.

papa, im sorry. :( i told u the other day that we patch things up. but.. everyhing went wrong again. i dun wanna talk abt it. when im ready, den i tell u.

daughter, i need u now. :( or maybe, as soon as possible. im going to sch tmr and everything will be OKAY. i hope.

so, eventually after everything ended just that afternoon, i met aqidah and poured my heart out. i cant keep it in me any longer. so.. she brightened the rest of my day and yeah. i do need a brand new start. let people say wadeva they want to. all i knw, i'll be happy. even though... there goes my love.

a hug will do, sometimes.
best frends forever (bff)!!
reunion. reflection.
dun jealous..

in the end.. i made up my mind. i want to have a fresh start. i want my life back to normal. knw wad? at least i got my family members and close frends hu could brighten up my day. or at least, make me smile once again.

Dear God, I cherished all the people around me and I thank You for everything that You gave. Forgive all my sins and bring me close to You each day. Amin. (:

2007-07-23T16:49:00.000+08:00

nothing much to say, simply photos.

east coast, with cousin.
a ray of light is enuff to make me happy.
me, cousin.
me, cousin.
kampung style of dinner. cousins, me.

when sorrow turns to stupidity.
cousins, me. credits to colourful crackers.

cousin, me
at least im happy with them.

best cousin. he rocked my wurl.

was it something you say, to make me turn away?

2007-07-17T19:08:00.000+08:00

i really dunno what i should do, who should i blame or what will happen. i cant even explain things for myself. & goodness, things are going haywire. of coz, i feel so so sad and disappointed by all his actions. however, i dunno wad i should do. sometimes, i cried silently, not knowing wad to do, till everything gets worse. i've lost the person i love dearly. & i dunno why. yes, i do initiate the break-up. but.. i have my reasons. why why isnt he caling me back to stay, and say straight to me tat he loves me still? why does this happen to me now? why not later? and why must that lena be so close to him. YES, i do feel the jealousy soemtimes. but if he treat her the same way he treat me, where do i stand? he kept telling me that she is his frend and yeah, i dun mind.. but why those msges? it hurts me, alot. a guy whom i trusted for 1 and a half year doesnt learn his lesson. i cnat believe that he culd watch me go, without calling me on the hp, asking me to be with him once again and telling me how much i mean to him in his life. instead, he just kept SILENT everytime i sent him a msg or gave him a call. now wad is that suppose to mean? WHY ARE YOU PLAYING WITH YOUR SILENCE, dammit!!!!! :'( now things turned upside down and he expect me to pick those pieces up and be a good gal to come back to him. now wad does he always say?

" im sorry "
"she's just a frend "
" i dun want it to end like this "
" but i still love you "

after much that's happened, he could say all that only?
damn, im scared, and shit. im crying,

2007-07-16T12:29:00.000+08:00

Lothars and Gerald
Look at wad my son (hareez) did. Goodness.
BURNT.
Ice-Cream!!!

Mum and Me @ Lido
Ouh.
Haha. SImpsons.
POOL.
Nic, Ryan and Reez

weekends were great. haha. well.. on sat.. went shopping with mum at town. haha. actually.. my cousin kinda boked tickets to watch harry potter together. well.. since we came early, we managed to drop by at paragon and shopped there. mum bought something from the la senza. den.. went to metro and islang shop to take a look at some stuffs. well... after that, mum and i went to buy shirts for bro. after that.. we went to sat at macd for a drink.. den saw aunts and cousins.. haha. so.. that evening.. we went watch movie. haha. and damn. harry potter is so so drop-dead gorgeous. hahaha. i mean.. he's so handsome!! goodness. after that went bedok for dinner. haha. ok.. that's for sat.

sunday.. went for a gathering with my ex-classmates. went to play pool and ate seoul garden. damn. i think there's no point for me to jog, when my input and output is the same. hahha. okay. nvm. yeah.. i had hell lot of fun and yeah. tiring. but still, at seoul garden i dun really eat alot cause my tooth was achign super mad. yeah. damn pain. hais. nvm. see wad i can do with it.

so now.. im in class. second breakout. haha. everyone went for break. i told fin to buy me donuts. haha. i cant eat solid food, i think. but nvm. worth trying. okay. so.. yeah nothing to update then.

we went separate ways. not only it broke ur heart, but it broke mine too. but think. it's unfair. ridiculously unfair. learn how to differentiate a frend and a girlfriend. it helps a lot. till then, i shall keep my silence. only u knw wad u are suppose to do. & of coz, i will always love u.

2007-07-12T23:17:00.000+08:00

these few days things were going on great. ok lah. not so fine either, cause im tired most of the time. hais. bt nvm. yest dear bought me a skirt and a new necklace. yaay-ness. it's been sucha long time since i went "shopping with him". today, he bought me a gingerbread woman ear studs and a pink ring. nice, i tell u. damn gorgeous.

oh ya. at s'goon got this pasar malam thing. haha. dear and i went there and bought candy floss. haha. remind me of the good old days when we were still young then, pleading mum and dad to get those colourful floss. (: yeah.. so.. today went there again, to buy uno card. haha. there's alwys something in his mind. (:

anyway, i dunno why, i shed tears when i was watching jordin sparks's clip during her memorable moment on American Idol. she sang beautifully till my hair stood up. talkign bout singing, there's some1 kinda dun like me to sing. i dunno wads wrong with her. she kinda hurt me in a way. since young, i like to sing, dance and have stupid or i shall say crappy chatters everyday. maybe not so stupid, but good enuff to cheer everyone up. but sometimes, things just dun work out the way it is. yes, i do love to sing and people who knew me alot sang along wif me too. people love to see me sing. i knw i wunt go as far as superstars but at least this voice of mine could bring me SOMEWHERE, i hope. well.. looks like i wunt sing in class anymore. but, i can sing somewhere, where people will appreciate my voice. that is, my home. my family members and gerald. not 2 mention my sec sch frends. they knew i got talent. however, i kinda doubt wad they said. i dunno why. maybe, this singing thing could just... be a passion for me. i hope, 1 day, i will realize my dream. i wish.

2007-07-08T22:35:00.000+08:00

hello. haha. ok. wad a thing to say uh? hahah. so.. this weekend was so super great. went to watch transformers. like finally. haha. went to watch it with bro and dear. hhha. irritating ppl. but nvm. hahaha. had lotzza fun with them. LOL. haha. so.. everythign went alrite. before we catch the movie.. went to play xbox 360 at the cathay. hahaha. ok lah. bro and gerald look so stupid when they are attacking each other in the battle. ok. nvm. haha.. so today.. kinda... dry.. nothing much to do.. parents went for wedding lunch at potong paisr and serangoon. but i didnt follow. haha. mum said no need. only 2 places. den.. bro and i stayed at home. watch chicken little awhile.. den dear came serangoon to play with us.. well.. he just came from the airport, after sending his parents off to china, for a business trip. haha. so.. his bro drove him here. yeah. den.. we played donkey, snap and monopoly for the 3 hours we spend together. haha. bro, me and dear really had fun playing. hahgaha. lucky i didnt get to jail alot of times. (unlike dear and bro. partners in crime). hahaha. okay.. so.. nth much to update then.. oh yaa. i forget. tmr SC investiture. wishing all leaders their best tmr! (: haha. &, next sat im watching harry potter. damn, i think i gonna melt. haha. til then.

(: love.

2007-07-05T16:23:00.000+08:00

ok. today's lesson was a bit hectic and a bit stressful. hais. nvm. it's a 3 man work. bleah. wadeva. so.. yesterday went jogging. haha. i feel... refreshed everytime i finish jogging at home. hahha. cool. ok.. so nothing to update really. just random photos, again. haha. well.. a picture paints a thousand of words. hahhaa... ok wadeva!

2007-07-03T22:00:00.000+08:00

my gf & me

jia wei eating chicken gf and me again!

today was fine till someone spoil my mood. i really hate it when something comes into my way last minute. i simply hate it. no matter who is the person, i just simply HATE it. too bad. thats the way i am. school ended quite early today and it feels weird. but nvm. i kinda hang arnd wit Jia wei, claris and fione. funny funny people. anyway fione, i didnt get dump by harry potter. it's just that im giving way to that cho chan. haha. goodness. hahha. anyway, i still got hermoine as my best frend. better dun jealous! haha. i knw jia wei jealous super mad. haha. he was like.. always get irritated with my chatter. haha. dummy boy, with a cow face! hahahhaha. okay.. so.. nothing happened then.. took pictures with claris and jia wei eating his fried chicken wing. hahah.

went home.. mum was like angry. didnt call her earlier. haha. so.. now.. i just finish doing my RJ. ahha. just came bac frm jogging too!! damn refreshing, i tell u. anyway, i really wanna lose some weight. not some, i gues.. maybe.. lose more weight. cause i find that im damn round!! hahha. lol. kks. shall update photo.

anyway, mr-u-think-u're-good, i hate u. u simply spoil my mood. go ahead wit that freaking dinner. like i care! anyway, i prefer to avoid u. at least im happy. take that! shut up and get a life.

2007-07-02T17:04:00.000+08:00

weekend was sucha bore. saturday didnt went out, eventually. hais. wanna watch fireworks.. but dad rather stay at home and watch football. aiyoh. den mum also i think... she tired. aiyah. dunno lah. haha. den.. on that saturday morning.. that MIO guy came and install the device for us. hahha. yes ar. like finally i can surf the net with my laptop. (: hahha. den dear anyhow bully me.. by saying.. "wah. online always ar. got MIO alrd ar." hahha. LAUGH OUT LOUD. haHA. well.. thats for saturday..

on sunday? went to uncle's apartment to celebrate my cousin'sbdae. c'mon. he's only a year old. aiyoh. hahah. but still, had fun with my cousin who came out with the games. haha. she's one crazy gal, i tel u. haha. but hey. we had super duper fun, okay? hahha. no photos of that to update.

anyway, now.. im with dear. eating.. hahha. (: so.. till then.

DEAR, dun nonsense with me. can? HAHA. (:

2007-06-28T10:15:00.000+08:00

haha. im in school now. lol. obviously. audra going through FMT with the class.. yeah. did contribute. but.. haha... give other ppl chances lah. some say that i "took" grades alot alrd. hahha. lol.. okay.. i will be leaving earlier later. after 2nd meeting, i guess. i dunno yet. see how's the situation. i find that today's lesson very interesting can? hahaha. damn interesting. haha. fin with his nonsense. justin, goodness. god knows wad he did with fin. haha. crap lah. hahaha. i think i laughed till my head rolls off. hahah. ok ok. i think that shud be it by now. yeah. nothing much to update. haha. will update when im free. (:

anyway, love. i miss u loads. ahah. (:

2007-06-19T14:00:00.000+08:00

2007-06-19T13:54:00.000+08:00

Hey. Sorry for not updating for sucha long time. wel.. i culd say that im very busy. damn busy. well.. hols.. went to KL. haha. fun like mad, i tell u . den.. last weekend was cousin's wedding. weehu. damn nice lah. but hais. again. conflicts everywhere. hahha. shall not talk abt it. anyway, it's not my problem. haha. oh ya. since it's been ages since i've update, well. haha. happy 1 year anniversary to me! haha. lol. i knew that was like... few weeks ago? but hey. come on. stil.. it's a year alrd!!! ahahha. happy like mad. well.. photos are ready for u guys. do take a look uh. haha. (: till then.

2007-05-25T15:58:00.000+08:00

Okay. nth much to update. Jus random photos to show. Shall update next time, aite?

so sorry. hhahaa!!

2007-05-22T16:48:00.000+08:00

so now here i am, writing down my thoughts and opinins for the day. okay. maybe not for just today. for like.. a month ago? haha. well. everything goes on fine. nothing much. RP's doing fine. im coping well in here. but then. aiyoh. still miss my secondary school frends. really miss them alot lah. haha. sumtimes.. the topics in RP made me think of them. really. as in.. really think of those stupid funy moments we had in secondary school. haha. let me list down those sweethearts whom i really miss. PAPA, AQIDO, HAREEZ and SUDONO. haha. these are the wanted people!! haha. really. hais. ok. guess wad? im in sch now. sch juz ended. and now.. i decided to blog before leaving. haha. (: was too busy to blog these few days.

well.. hmm. gerald? ok lah. things got settled alrd. but stil, time will know what will happen next.
well.. sumtimes.. i dunno y.. i got angry with him due to the stuffs he'd done. but.. he's part of my life. i mean. face the fact. 80% of my time is his. well. besides family time lah. hais. i dunno lah. i dun wanna let him go but den.. aiyoh. dunno. gonna be our 1 year anniversary soon. i hope nothing much worse will happen. really. im praying hard i tell u. hais. but still.. nvm. i still got that little strength to carry on. & i hope that strengh will help me out in a way or so.

besides that, nothing much hapening.. wel.. my frends in RP really rocked my world at times. haha. esp CLARIS, SHIMAH, EDMOND, JUSTIN, LIONEL,JIA WEI, FIN and maybe.. hmm.. ? hahahaha. damn joker. hahhaa. wokay. well. haha. shall stop here, wokay? shall updat enext time, haha. till then. (:

2007-05-01T22:29:00.000+08:00

01 MAY 2007

i woke up in the morning and tot that everything would be okay. i did what i have to do. everything changed when the clock strikes 12.30pm. i went to my cupboard and pick out the clothes that i wanna wear for the whole day out with him. so.. i chose that white shirt that mum bought for me. of cos, jeans would be my preferred choice. so.. after that, i took a bath and mum decided to help me with the make up.. thanks mum. so... after what she did towards my face, i kinda felt... preety good with it.. so i wore my clothes and put on my accesories. i was listening to the song.. :accidentally in love: by the counting crows. so.. i tot everything would turn out FINE. after i met him, for the first 20 mins.. everything was going fine. WHY>? it's because i was trying my best to feel good and be a NICE gal in front of him. i tried to be the bubbly me and make sure things dun turn out sour. but.. once he open up his mouth abt the movie timings.. and blah blah blah, damn, it pissed me off. sad case lah, i shall say. i wunt say that it's my fault or neither do his. maybe, i say maybe, it's both of our fault. i dunno. really, i dun. so.. from dhoby ghaut, we went to somerset. his face was like... argh. nvm. so.. i was praying in silence.. " Dear God, tell me what should i do. " eventually, God asked me to keep quiet and not to talk further, as it might really make things worse. So.. i kept quiet. When we reached cineleisure, the movie was fully booked. i mean it. all of the timings. well.. mostly all.. expected. i wanted to tell him this.. but.. he will always cut in my way and think TOO positively. that's the REASON why i would shut up and let him see for himself, what i really meant. so.. we dropped the whole idea.. went to eat at long john silver and went home. everything, in silence. and i mean it. come to me if u wanna know how i do it. for those hu knew me, i guess u guys by now shud knw wad i'm trying to say in here. u guys shud have known abt his attitude towards my relationship with him. his character can be read by everyone alrd. so.. i dunno how long will these things continue. i really dunno. YES, i gave in too MUCH. YES, i always be the one doing things, to make the situation feel so great. CAUSE if i DON'T, hu will? i knew he will at some point of time.. but.. frankly speaking, im doing what a guy shud do.

im so so sad and disappointed with his attitude for today. i asked him wad is the matter and he kept quiet. i dunno wad is going on in his mind. and it's ALWAYS the case that i'm at the losing end. and it's ALWAYS the case that i have to give in and do what the guys gotta do. told him i don't need much. it's the presence that i need. & presence is juz more than being there. hais. i guess.. i shall stop here. for all my readers, if u guys wanna knw more what happen, do come to me personally. well.. it's not that i will tell u everything.. but.. juz wanna share what i've been thru. & make it as a learning journey for myself and everyone.

and yeah. i forgot to tell u guys something.
based on wad u guys read, juz wanna wish him and myself.. happy 11 monthsary.
01-05-07

yeah. u guessed it right. that was wad happen.... on our 11 months anniversary.
till then, may the stars be with u.

soLong & goodNite

tears, dun roll down till the end of time.

2007-04-19T13:19:00.000+08:00

okay. let's put aside tertiary school. well.. really, i miss my frends. as in.. SECONDARY school frends. hais. damn. i realy miss those times together.. when we shared our ups and downs.. and also well.. u knw.. aiyah. those wonderful times lah! but hey. im not being an emo queen here, okay? haha. but. juz.. miss them alot. (: yeah. well.. sumtimes.. i really felt lonely in RP. i mean. yeah.. there were times when i enjoyed myself in school.. during presentations and stuffs. but.. i juz want the group of frends which i really am comfortable with. but but but, i have to move on. cause.. i got to be with my new frends for the rest of the 3 years. so.. yeah. wad to do? move on. yeah.

so.. i heard band was a bit disappointed with their SYF results. but stil, hey guys.. cheer up,okay? im sure u guys are winners in BSS's heart. (: yeah.. okay lah. shall stop here. dun wanna let my readers read so so much. haha.

anw, i got sumthing to tell u guys. im so so bored now. (;

2007-04-16T12:51:00.000+08:00

okay. im in sch now. wel.. really sorry if i do not update my blog. very busy.. with orientation and stuffs. so now.. im in sch.. juz fnish my second meeting. gonna do presentation soon. haha.. hope i culd do well uhh. (: realy hope so.. wll.. i guess i shall update more later orn arh. (:

oh ya. bss military band will be having their SYF tmr. wishing u guys all the best. (: u guys will always be in my heart. (: take care. (:

2007-04-10T23:35:00.000+08:00

wow. wad a great day i had today. really! (: haha. even though i knw tmr i'll be starting my orientation and next week sch will re-open. haha. lol. but today, there's no doubt that i had fun with gerald. haha. love him to the bits. haha. we met at cineleisure and catch a movie.. meet the robinsons. okay. the show was so nice lah. really. haha. cute summore. yet, touching. haha. as u guys knw, i had a hard time to ask permission from my parents to come home at nite. (: so.. i told them before hand that i wanna go out and come home slightly late cause since it's my last day to enjoy!! (: haha. yeah. so.. we bought ticket at the 5 pm slot. yeah. den.. we proceed to seoul garden to eat. hahha. happy like mad.. sat there for almost 2 hours ( i think ). haha. juz much away! hahah. told ya that dear will feed me alot. haha. lol. yeah.. den.. watch movie.. den.. shop arnd.. wah.. really had fun!!!!! hahaha. yeah.. den reached home.. went up to get my laptop and put down my things in my room. went down to the senior citizens corner to restore something. haha. yeah. at first the uncle was a bit unhappy. but den.. they ok one lah. haha. we shifted place awhile. haha!! lol. yeah.. so.. after finishing everything.. thank all the uncles there. haha. then.. they happy happy alrd. haha. dunno lah. ahha. they watching this chinese show thing. haha.. hmm.. wad else.. nah..nth to update alrd lah. so far so good. nth's up.. well.. shall update more soon. haha. till then, gd nite!

2007-04-10T08:57:00.000+08:00

wokay. here i am again. let's start with last thurs. haha. met gerald to return cheque from SK. i get so frustrated cause my full name was incorrect. but then.. hais. nvm. so.. after that i went to CP and ate chicken porridge at Banquet. then dear wanted to cut his hair. that's when we proceed to serangoon central there. brought him to the salon which my mum and i goes to always. yeah. so.. he got his hair all nicely cut and dyed. ok. envy him for tat. lol. haha. den.. i called mum and told her that im at the salon with him. she then told me to cut my hair too. i was like. yay-ness! (: haha. so.. gerlad and i juz get our hair done and proceed home.

fri.. well.. i went to my aunt's chalet. didnt overnite there. due to the fact that there were 692147710239 ppl there. so.. mum, dad and i went home. bro stayed over. then.. sat we went back there in the morning. afternoon.. went wild wild wet.. haha. happy like mad. always bully this american guy. hahha. he's cute, btw. haha. lol. thanks to all my cousins, hu started the prank. haha. lol. yeah.. den.. at nite we went home.. sunday we never came back cause they gonna check out. yeah.

then yest.. nth much happened, stayed at home. hang arnd. haha. played with my "kids" haha. yeah.. at nite.. when for a jog with aunt and uncle. yeah.. i think that's it for now. today gonna go out to town with gerald. maybe gonna catch a movie together cause my sch starting soon. and i mean it. very soon. haah! wokay. shall stop here then. will update more later. (:

2007-04-04T00:52:00.000+08:00

done!! finally changed skin!! goodness. i think my eyeballs gonna pop out if i continue another minute trying to put the tagboard back in place. hais. haha. but still, with dear's encouragement and my perseverance, i managed to changed it. EVENTUALLY. hahah!! wokay. till here uhh. cause.. i wanna rest alrd. take care!! toodles.

if u can see, there's sumthing wrong with my tagboard. hahah!

2007-04-02T16:35:00.000+08:00

okay.. im the library now with dear. haha. configuring our laptop. haha. finally i understand abt stuffs. haha. (: dear playing his dunno wad battlefield.. aha. as usual, i dun understand guy stuffs. aha! (: yeah.. so.. haha.. really dunno wad to update. haha. shall stop here. gonna eat sumthing soon with dear. till then. (:

2007-03-31T14:42:00.000+08:00

okay.. so juz nw went to mum's office. butconnot get connection. lazy explain here. haha..anw, so far.. life's great. nth much to update, actally. so.. today i'll be working and yeah. last day.,. but hais.. if can, i wanna continue lah. but.. mum and dad dun really allow.. so.. cant do much.. yeah. s0.. today.. last day.. wish me luck!! haha. yah. shall update when i get home.. toodles!

2007-03-30T21:58:00.000+08:00

hey hey. ok. i knw that i didnt undate my blog for like..centuries!! tmr i'll be going to mum's office. and i shall bring my laptop there and yes, i'll shall catch up on many MANY things. (: till then, gd nite ppl.

2007-03-25T22:13:00.000+08:00

la la la. really sorry for the late post. man, i was really busy last week. haha. yeah.. due to my enrolment thingy. haha. yeah. was busy with personal stuffs, in other words. haha.

yeah. so.. last thurs went to RP. wow. i LOVE the school. it's like.. big.. and.. brand new.. and.. argh. simply wow-ness. hahha. serious. mum took leave on that day to accompany me there. LOL. how sweet is she. haha. after completing the 7 stations at RP.. went to see the laptop roadshow. ok..so.. we decided on which one to buy. and they said.. i can collect it the next day, by afternoon.. so.. the next day i was like.. waiting for their call and cancelled my other appointments, in case this lady or huever called. so.. she DID, but she called my mum. and it's alrd like.. 4 plus? and told me that i can only collect it on tue, 27 march. i was like. OKAY. i knew that i cant collect it that day cause hello? wad time was it? haha. so.. i was walking with dear at serangoon interchange when mum called to inform me abt it. so.. i was like.. "yeah mum. expected." hahha. yeah.. so.. that fri.. nothing much for me.. had lunch with dear. thats all.
hmm.. yest.. sat.. haha. super fun. we stayed at home for lunch..den had dinner at changi village. cause i'll be meeting my relatives there after that. so.. when i reached changi and met my relatives, i saw my cousins playing arnd. and yeah, guess wad? my cousin took a chalk and drew the hop scotch thing on the pathway near the bus stop. i was like.. WTH. haha. thats vandalism! gahha. but wadeva, i played hopscotch! haha. but then.. the weather not so kind uhh. haha. arnd.. 11.45pm.. there's storm and thunder. we packed our stuffs and left. reached home arnd.. 12.30am? yeah. haha. (: so.. today.. nth much. mum cooked lunch and dinner. haha. how nice. it's a MIRACLE that mum cooked. she RARELY cook, i tell u. however, no matter wad it is, her cooking is the best! ahahha. wokay then. shall stop here. planning to change blog skin.. maybe tmr or sumthing. haha. till then. oh ya! working schedule out alrd. will be workin on thurs and sat. nite shift. that will be my last week of work. dad will get angry if i continue. haha. wokay wokay. really, i shall stop here. (: toodles.

2007-03-17T22:32:00.000+08:00

HAPPY 11TH BIRTHDAY BROTHER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

yeah. my bro's bdae. haha. happy for him!! wah. not bad arh. so fast time passed by. haha. hmm... went out at arnd.. 4.30pm juz now.. and went town with family. went robinsons.. and mum shopped arnd. as usual, lookin for her eau de toilette. haha. anw, we shopped there for abt.. wad...? 1 and a half hour? yeah. haha. bought waffle maker and bro got a watch! (: den.. we went to swensens for dinner! yum yum! haha. yeah. ate my favourite ice-cream, coit tower for dessert. haha!! (: yeah.. after that went toa payoh to walk arnd summore! (: haha. hmm.. wad else.. i think thats all for now.. nth much, i guess. haha. tmr is alrd sunday! haha. but i think i will be staying at home ... i think mum dun wanna go out alrd lah. haha. 2 days shopping and stuffs. i think she had enuff. (i think) .. haha. and yeah, if possibly, i wanna meet dear on monday. really miss him. it's been nearly a week since i saw him!! haha. yeah. hmm.. okay then. shall stop here. (:

if i could escape to my own world.. with u.

2007-03-16T21:55:00.000+08:00

yeah. i changed song again. i dunno y lah. but i think it depends on my mood. (: buy hey. this song. A Whole New World. from the disney movie Alladin. my all time favourite. okay. this may be my small tiny winy secret. or maybe.. i shall say.. my close frends knew that i always wanted to be a princess. haha. i mean.. not those kind in reality. the one.. who lives in a colourful palace, with greenery surrounds it.. with a village that i can see not beyond my sight. and animals are my frends, the king is my dad, the queen is my mum and everyone, everyday filled with love. well.. haha. really. nice uhh. adn yeah. the prince? haha. that one.. another episode uhh. (: haha. yeah.. so.. i think.. it's the best song i can ever come across to. in a way, it does give me motivation to explore the world. (: haha. doesnt mean.. u have to be in love, to like this song. it's all abt the soul and meaning of it. (:

alrite. today went JB with family. yup jus the 4 of us. (: happy like crazy! bought alot of chocolates, ate pizza, 4 tops and really enjoyed the time with my family. haha. everyone got wad they wanted. (: after Jb.. went to serangoon north for dinner. ok la. ate seafood fried rice. damn, my family really fed me alot uhh. haha. yeah. anw, i still dunno when i'll be working again. heard there's a new trainee. 2 of them summore. haha. best of luck uhh. hahah. i think most probably next week, aqidah, chor hong and i will be back in action. haha. missed the chefs there a bit. hahah! (: and i still got my other half of my pay, to be collected end of this month, which means more shopping!! i've alrd eyed on this top at MNG. (: haha. wah. really, i need to pile up my closet for poly days. (:

oh yah. next thurs mum and i will be going down to RP. for my enrolment thingy. yeah. heard we have to purchase a notebook there. well.. hope i can buy one, not loan one! haha. i want a laptop on my own! dang. haha. i mean.. for my own stuffs. come on, who doesnt want it? (: reality check, ppl! haha. yeah. oh! havent tell u guys wad course i went into uhh. ok.. i'll be going republic poly to take diploma in communication and information design. well, at least it's the course which i think i can manage with. (: they state sumthing abt good writing.. so.. hey. points for me! (: even though sum ppl may say that RP is not so good as the rest of the polys, but really, i think diff poly have diff expectations or system, i shall say. so.. nothing to compare abt much. all i knw is that i really thank God cause i can take a diploma, summore in a course that i can manage with. (: doesnt matter. but i told my parents that i will work hard.. i dunno y, but i wanna go uni badly. =x. haha. sounds kinky but.. haha. a penny for my thoughts uhh. (: yeah. wadeva the case is, i shall work hard! but the sad thing is that dear will be in SP.. doing his engineering. sad sad case. but nvm!! haha. we must stay close as much as we can even though the future may get hard at times. (: really learnt alot from previous quarrel. haha. (:

hmm.. i guess.. i shall stop here. it's late. well... not so late, but im tired. yawn. gonna head the sack soon. haha. yeah. till then!!

when darkness turns to light, it ends tonite.

2007-03-15T11:13:00.000+08:00

nothing much to update. yeah. sorry.

i dunno whether it was my fault or urs. i realize that i gave in too much that a gal can do. i meet ur needs and stuffs. but.. i realize that nothing is changing. i guess.. it's the matter of time.

how i wish, i culd be a shooting star, instead of being juz a shining star.

2007-03-13T13:45:00.000+08:00

haha. yesterday went for chalet at downtown east with the rest of my secondary school frends. haha. well.. it was supposed to be a class gathering. but turned out to be a small reunion. haha. but wadeva it is, argh! haha. had fun wit them! ven though i didnt managed to swim, but it's okay! they really brighten up my day! (: well.. esp with the perfume thing that aqidah, gerald and i had fun abt. but hey, the sales lady was so damn frendly okay. she shud get high pay for service. hahah! (: yeah. afternoon juz walked arnd.. haha. den.. evening.. slack in the room.. den. arnd 7? we start to bbq!~ yay. a bit boring at first. but when the jokes come in.. the convo heats up.. everything was great. haha. yeah. overall, it was fun. i wunt forget our "yam seng" in chicken style. hahah!! wokay then. til here.

my heart is pumping like mad. hope i wunt get disappointed again.

2007-03-08T16:15:00.000+08:00

ok.. nothing much to update. yeah. kinda feeling disappointed with the posting results. but nvm. i leave it up to God now. i've done the best that i culd. well.. if really i go into republic.. well.. wad can i say? juz have to go ahead with it.

so yesterday went to meet dear.. after a whole week of not meeting him. haha. miss him so much! haha. den.. we juz went to serangoon central to talk, had lunch. he was supposed to go for swimming that afternoon. but den.. ahha. as usual, i lazy go.. anw, i told mum that i'll be only hanging arnd at central. yeah. so.. went to pay my hp bills, had lunch and walk arnd at the shop and save. haha.

after that we went to look at the buildings at my block there. 12th floor. it's a panoramic view, i tell u. haha. yeah. .. we talked abt the building that we saw.. and the terraces. he cheered me up well. thanks dear. hmm.. generally.. we did nothing up there. juz look at the nice view.. and talk bout 1001 things that we missed out during the 1 week. yeah. after that, i went aunt hse.. den he went swimming. alone. ahaha. yeah. (:

so.. till then.

only u knew wad happened and wad killed me emotinally. thanks for everything. (: love u.

2007-03-01T23:49:00.000+08:00

alrite. happy 9th monthsary to dear and me! (: yes yes. 9 months alrd. goodness. time flew very very fast. i really cant believe that it's march alrd. =x yea... day started off preety fine. woke up at 10 to do hsewrk.. den.. pick out clothes.. for the afternoon outing that i ahd with dear. yeah. arnd.. 2.30 met dear at serangoon mrt station. well.. kinda missed him so much! and yeah, he look good today. (: so.. we trained to dhoby ghaut and went straight to plaza singapura. went arnd.. juz.. window shop a bit.. look here and there..den saw kevin.. talked awhile. i mean.. kevin the ncc air and basketball guy. haha. after that went arcade and play this spot-the-diff game. haha. really fun playing it with dear. (: yeah.. den.. went down to secret recipe to eat. after that, went to the cathay and bought our movie ticket. watching Paris, Jet'aime. ok. the movie was so slow. haha. n i got no idea why is it rated NC16. aiyoh. haha. den.. movie ended arnd.. 7.35? yeah. den.. trained to orchard mrt station to eat seoul garden at ngee ann city. dear really fed me alot today, i tell u. hah! serious. haha. den.. after taking ou time eating at seoul garden.. we trained back to serangoon and dear sent me home. (: yay! (: i dunno why, but i felt so so happy today. yay-ness!! haha. it's been quite long that we're together uhh. 9 months. wow. impressive.. haha. i mean. for me lah. longest relationship so far. and yes, we looking forward to the future. hope our love gets stronger each day. i knw it's tough being together esp due to our differences. but.. no matter wad, we alrd promised each other to be there always. yeah. and im proud to have him as my close and special one. he was there with me during the ups and downs. really happy bout it. so.. till here then. shall proceed to la la land. (:

it gets hard but it wunt take away my love.
accidentally in love?
it still is. (:
01/03/06

2007-02-28T22:44:00.000+08:00

ok.. i continue with my previous post.. here are the bloopers i had with aqidah..

aqidah.. she was trying to clear a table.. full of plates.. abt.. a table for 8? yeah.. and she always have this problem of cant carry a big tray. no strength wad. haha. so..

me: wah. confident ar?
qido: hahaha!! yes yes!
me: ok then. hahahaha. go ahead. the table is urs.
qido: aha! ok babe!

and she was clearing halfway.. her face changed. i went up to her and said..

me: nvm qido. i do.
and there she was, smiling happily.

another blooper...

me: u sure u can carry those 6 glasses of hot chinese tea?
qido: can lah.
me: sure arh? ok.
qido: (after 3 mins) eh.. help me send that to table 33 arh. i need take orders arh. hehe.
me: lol.
cute seh that frend of mine. hahahah!!

another blooper...

me: eh. chor hong. hurry come!! together we say bye bye to the customer! hurry!!
qido: ya lah. hurry hong hong!
chor hong: wait ar.. my body all itchy ar.................................... (stratching all over.) -_-"

another one...

me: come ar! lets eat.
qido: yes ar. im sleepy now. hurry ar slack.
chor hong: ok come! we go long john. talk crap.
me: no lah.. mac first.
chor hong: ok lor.
den sat there.. do nothing. all sleepy.
chor hong: aiyoh come lah. go long john.
me: ok lor.
den we sat down.
me: shit ar!!!!!!!!!!!!
chor hong, qido and dear: why?!?!??!
me: i never bring wallet.
EVERYONE: -_-"""

so yeah. thats all with the bloopers lah. haha. lol. ok then, till here. nites.

sumtimes, i wish i culd be wendy, the one hu always fly with peter pan, and go the place called netherland. a land which no one grew up. and i love it so.

2007-02-26T23:02:00.000+08:00

yeah. i changed song again. i dunno y, but this song keep playing in my head since the day i came home with my o level results. i think i knw the reason why. well, basically, i miss 4e3. yeah. this really reminds me of hareez and stephen, playing their guitar and sang songs on fri, after PE. and aqidah and i will be singing along. haha. melting down there. i still remember stephen singing his self-composed song. hais. sweet lah. yeah, beautiful memories. will never forget them.

and it's been days since i've blogged. well.. as usual, working. ok lah. now stopped working alrd. taking a break i mean. haha. lol. for two weeks. lucky they understand us. haha. (: yeah. last sat was my off day. went to marina for shopping with family. haha. fun lah. bought sum clothes at samuel and kevin. den.. sweater at I.P zone. den saw sumthing gorgeous at Mango and Topshop. aiming aiming!!! hahaha. yeah den sun work full shift.

got few accidents at work that make my blood boil. haha. serious. example:

the yellow guy: is this spicy?
me: yes, it is.
the yellow guy: ok. let me take a look at this... thiss....... (browsing thru the menu.)
the yellow guy: ok. i have this for my son.
me: it's spicy. so, u still want to have it?
the yellow guy: yes. (HE SAID YES)
me: ok then.

10 minutes later when the food arrived......

the yellow guy: why this one got chiili? i dun want it spicy! i alrd told u.
me and aqidah--> wadeva seh! -_-"

haha.. but.. of course there are sum bloopers that happened.. shall continue next time ok? haha. till then. do check it out!! (:

2007-02-21T10:32:00.000+08:00

ok lah. these few days.. been busy. work. haha. hmm.. nothin much to update. well.. later going out with dear. (: it's been nearly a week since i last saw him. yeah. and i heard we're going out with lothars and the rest. yeah. so.. i dunno. i juz follow them. (: so.. now chatting with dear. seriously, i got nothing to talk abt. haha,.

till then.

2007-02-15T22:05:00.000+08:00

today went off to raffles place to meet dear at his workplace. had lunch together. den sumthing happened. dear accompanied me to do sumthing abt it. thanks dear. love ya! (: yay-ness. hmm. den.. went to fullerton hotel. haha. ok lah. as usual.. play with the fish. they very cute one. haha. see dear run away. see me cum close with mouth wide open. hahah. (: den.. went to his workplace again.. and saw his another staff. chris. haha. den bid goodbye. went home. reached home at 6.

v-day was ok. nth much. i was working on that day. there were like alot of ppl!!! goodness. den arnd 8 plus.. suddenly saw dear queuing up outside. i was like waD?! he wants to eat here alone? sure not? haha. den when his turn arrived.. i asked him cum in.. he say dun want. he juz wanna pass me sumthing. and then i saw a bouquet of fresh flowers and a present nicely wrapped. well.. then he said goodbye and left. i told him i wuld beep his as soon as i finished work. but den, i finished work at 11pm on that day. phew. so tired. den went home.. open up the present. CHOCOLATES. MERCI. wah!!!!!! nice...!!! in heaven siah!!!!!!!!! whoooo!! so many.. i can like.. eat till my teeth drop off. hahhaa. and i called him that nite and thank him for everything. and so, our love continues. everyday is like valentine day to us. (:

den dear mentioned sumthing. on the day when he queued up at my workplace, there was this gal. it's the project superstar finalist. yeah. but all of us didnt notice it. too busy~!! only those arnd the hougang mall siam kitchen there noticed and took pictures with her. yeah. haha. well.. guess wad dear did. NOTHING. NOT INTERESTED. hahah!!! anyhow only. hahah. so bad arh. that girl didnt get the fame from my dear. hahaha!

ok then. till here. shall update more sum other time. tmr working. jia you gal! (:

& i love u so.0

2007-02-13T22:21:00.000+08:00

yea yea. went out wif dear. for a while only. went to ngee ann. and then we went to town to catch a movie. ok lah. watched pan's lybrinth. or sumthing or wadeva it is. haha. ok la. well.. nothing much..juz the normal day outing together with love. haha. yay-ness.

tmr v-day. haha. well.. lucky i got my full-time valentine. hahahhaah!! gerald!! (: hahah. yay-ness, again.

anyway, wanna tell u guys sumthing. juz now, when i was on my way back home with dear, i saw this dog lah.. with it's owner. and here goes the whole convo.

me (eating f.a choco chips.) : dear. dear. see that stupid dog. run in circle to catch it's tail. stupid stupid. hahahahah!!!!
dear: hahahah. wah! so bad. (threaten to hit my head)
me (still eating) : really. see lah. haha.
den dear and i saw the dog poop-ing.
me: omg! i dun wanna see.
dear: why? hahahahha!! oh!! ahahha. ya lah. that's why he was running in circles.
me: -_-" goodness. ok. next time when i saw a dog like that, i think i knw the reason why.
dear and me: HAHAHAHAHAHAHA~!!

and it's disgusting. hahaha. so after that dear meet my parents and see my car. lol. nothing to do. we talked to mum while on my way to my aunt's place. (:

so i think that's it for today. (: shall update tmr. oh ya. im working tmr. dang! haha. full shift. wad a v-day afterall! (:

2007-02-12T21:42:00.000+08:00

Yes ar~!!!! haha. finally get the results. haha. i knw it's been days since i've got it.. but seriously, no time to blog abt it. haha. yay!! i got 19 points! haha. well.. at least i can go poly or MI. hhaha. but den, i still chose poly. ahaha.

so.. been busy lately, with work at siam kitchen. well.. heard from parents.. they said they want me to quit the job arnd march. cause they want me get myself prepared for the upcoming term. well.. i guess it's kinda true. wanna relax and enjoy my last bit of hols! (: well.. everything was great. at work.. met different kind of ppl. haha. customers with diff kinda attitude. ahah. lol. yeah. enjoyed working with chor hong and aqidah. haha. always there laughing and smiling while doing work. there's this one time, a family of 32, booked the restaurant for their daughter's 1 year old bdae. qido and i were like.. -_-". sweat big time. den there's this one guy which always play arnd with languages with me. and i really hate it. haha.

here are sum of the bloopers.

the guy in red: excuse me, may i replenish the satay?
me: so in other words, u want more of the satay?
the guy in red: yes please.

i was like. hey! can u use simple english? i mean.. it's not that i dun understand.. it's so.. argh. haha. nvm!~ hhahahahaa. den got one more incident.

the guy in red: excuse me, sorry. can i have more of the satay again?
me: how many sticks do u want?
the guy in red: u mean.. how many pieces?
me: yeah. how many do u want?
the guy in red: 8 will do.
den he turn arnd and look at his frend. and he said: it's suppose to be pieces rite? not sticks.
and i walked away, with a facade. hahahhaha!!

and i tell u, he ate so so much!!!! serious!! ask qido!!! hahahahah.
yeah. so fun lah.. working.. meet funny2 ppl. and they bdae gal is so so cute. i was shaking hand with her and then she let go of her mum;s hand and hugged my leg. i felt like carrying her. but hey, im workin ok. so.. skip this. haha.

sunday went to cousin's chalet. ok la. preety boring, but the food was awesome!
sat went work.
den went straight there. haha.

so.. tmr im going out with dear. yay-ness. nope, i dun celebrate v-day. cause that was wad my religion taught me. yeah. and the sweetest thing is that, gerald is fine with it. haha. so.. tmr we kinda juz go out and have fun. he will be taking leave tmr. im not working as it is one of my off days. yeah. and in the evening, i will be going to the hospital to meet grandpa. hope he'll get well soon. hmm.. so.. i guess till here. will start wok on v-day. full shift. haha!

alrite. shall wait for dear to ask me call him. so till then, keep those tags coming in!!

sunshine, my only sunshine. (:

2007-02-07T23:17:00.000+08:00

hahhaha!! ok. today was fun. surprised dear at his workplace. can see his stunning face! yay-ness. hahahaha. at last can manage to surprise him. well, at least he's motivated to work finally! hahah. bought for him skittles. haha. as in.. the sour ones. to keep him awake!! hahah.

after that we went lunch together at banquet. haha. ok lah. fun like mad. well, to be frank, i really miss his company. ): it's been days lah.. since i saw him. bt..wad to do? we got our own schedule. haha. but still, love is still on the air. in fact, it does make us stronger in a way. hah!

ok.. so..after lunch.. we went fullerton hotel. ey. dun anyhow think ar. we juz look arnd. nice lah the place. haha. we palyed with the fish there. dear took my hand and ask me touch the fish. so sweet. haha. yeah. really had fun. i wunt forget wad u tried to do at the phone booth dear. haha. *(: so.. after that.. i proceeded home and he went back to his workplace. haha. damn, suddenyl i feel so happy. ahahah. as in.. finally can be with him. hahahhaha. yay-ness.

so... i think i shall stop here lah.
gonna talk to him on the phone.
tmr working. damn. jia you afifah!
hjaha. and dang. results will be out soon. and i mean it. VERY SOON.

2007-02-06T14:25:00.000+08:00

yeah, i realized that my blog gets dusty. dang. haha. sorry for not updating these few days due to my busy schedule. haha. yeah. sum ppl alrd knew it tat im working at Siam Kitchen at Hg Mall. (:.. well.. yeah.. been working there for a week alrd? yeah. ok lah. no comments bout the job. all i knw is so far, so good.

hmm.. 1 of Feb was my 8th monthsary with dear, hahhahaha!! yeah. can feel the happy-ness. lol. haha. so long uhh. haha. lol. (:

these few days are my off days. so. i can slack like super mad? hahahaha!
yeah. ok then. shall update more tonite. promise. haha. now gonna eat lunch. wuhuu!!!
and yeah. my classmates told me that im getting chubby-er. haha! dang. yeah. i DID put on a lot of weight. (:

till then.

2007-01-30T23:23:00.000+08:00

it's been a few days since i've blogged. well.. tired lah. haha. hmm.. let's start with last sunday.

Sunday, 28/01/07

went to the band fiesta at singapore conference hall. wow. our band did preety well.. (:(: . dear accompanied me and haha!! love it! haha. after the concert went lau pa sat to eat. with kadri and qido. (: sweet uhh. haha, yeah. even though it's like.. few hours only.. still, we had a great time. reached home arnd 10 plus and sweet dreams.

Monday, 29/01/07

met mum at her office. was supposed to buy new pair of shoes. but.. in the end, changed mind. had a great lunch with her at jurong point and went to her office till dad fetched us. but den, dad couldnt make it. so..we went home by train.. it's like a.. 1 hour 15 mins journey.. and mum is havin her anxiety attack again. haha. lol. it's ok lah mum. im here. (: yah. reached aunt hse for dinner at 6.45. den.. went home arnd.. 8. and after that taught bro and managed to help him alot in his revision and hmwrk. yeah. soon after that, sweet dreams, off to la la land.

Today, 30/01/07

met mum again at jurong point. yeah i knw im crazy cause i made my way from serangoon to boon lay to meet mum. seriously, im bored. im starting work tmr at siam kitchen!! yay-ness. with aqidah! hahhaa. nite shift. arhg. hmm.. den during lunch time dear met me and mum. we were at john little when he popped up. hahaha.happy happy! so mum went back to her office and left us alone at jurong point. we decided to watch a movie. gridiron gang. nice show. den after that we went swensens. dear treat me ice-cream there. so sweet! love ya. haha. yeah. den after that dear send me home. on our way home, upon reaching.. saw mum and dad again. haha. cool.

yeah. that was wad happened 2 days ago? haha. yeah. well.. tmr i'll be working form 5-10pm. well.. have to break a leg for that!~ damn. haha. wokay. shall stop here. kinda late now. wanna talk to dear. shall update tmr.

nite, sweet dreams.

La la la.
Coit Tower. YUM!

2007-01-25T22:17:00.000+08:00

the radio is like.. playing the song.. welcome to the black parade by MCR. and i reminds me of him. hais. nope, we didnt fight. juz simply some obstacles that im facing currently. hais. i dunno why, but it's always the case that my love is beeing put to test. it's sucha shitty feeling. and everything goin hay-wire now. hais. everyone was inviting me to their parties and.. towning and wadeva. but dang. hais. cant go out. i dun even have any money left! hais. broke like hell. and mum deductin my allowance. and she deducts more than 50% due to my phone bill. yeah. im not blaming him. im blaming myself. for talking to him too much. even though he never admits or say sorry cause usually he wants to talk to me. and seriously, i feel like being single once again. yeah. but.. i dunno why. this feeling comes and go. once again, it feels shitty.

everyone is talking abt their holidays. how fun it was. going town and shop and wadsoeva. of coz i love to do that too.. but.. juz that.. i cant get wad i want. all i can do is to stay at home. yeah. and gerald tan will always NOT console me. he will say.. sumthing sumthing sumthing sumthing sumthing but then.. sumthing sumthing sumthing. & damn, im getting tired of it. can u juz like. pity me once for an instance. hais. i guess it's true. u knw wad gerald tan? sumtimes.. i dun blame u. cause u are still learning. and i dunno wad u are learning.. and whenever i say sumthing like this, u will like.. "i dunno wad is going on." and "i still cant confront u, i knw. im sorry ar......." it's been MILLIONS of time i've heard that. mayb qido is rite. it's time to for u to realize. but i dunno when. maybe things will get better when we separate is it? hais. i need to be alone. but. argh. damn. im simply confused. gerald tan will NEVER come to me and confront me. when im sad and wanna put down the phone, he will say. "anything." yeah. ANYTHING. & i was like. oh. ok. u not gonna hold me back? and yeah. i put down the phone. hais. the problem doesnt starts with him. it;s juz that whenever i have a problem, he cant help me with it. he wuld be the blur blur type. and i hate it. yes, i HATE it. im sorry. but i have to let it out. come wad may. only God will listen to me, & ans my prayers.

cause gerald tan simply cant do that.

but, i still love u.
that's the biggest problem.

2007-01-24T22:50:00.000+08:00

alrite. things went out well today. hmm.. kinda tired.. and my arms are like killing me. well.. im on the phone with dear now, and he's talking rubbish. haha. only God knws wad we were talking abt. LOL. anyway, i accompanied him to cut and dyed his hair today. at first, he looked like a full-time monster, with his hair all long and ugly. haha. but den, after the haircut, haha. damn i cant say anything more or less. cause he looks nice, though. even if it's too short to be considered by me, i think he looked preety good. and then comes the best part. dye hair. haha. he chose a so called natural brown colour. but turn out to be......................... ( ppl, see for urself. ) haha. no comments. hint hint. he looked really like a part-time ah-beng. haha. lol. even if he claim he wanna be a full-time. but still, deep within, i knw he is not that kind of person. if he is, i wuld not have fallen in love with him. (: so.. he's still innocent lah. (: den.. after applying the solution, he kinda had this big, ugly, stupid machine which surrouds his head. it looks like it was playing a loud music for him. juz like a stereo headset. however, when i asked him, all he culd ans is.. "hey. i feel heat. " i sat there, with jaws wide open and deep within i cried for help. he's mad. haha. ok nvm. drop it. so.. ok lah. things went off well. after the salon thingy we went to buy hotdogs. makan time. den proceeded home.

i dunno y, but i think i shud stop asking myself whether he culd be there with me always. cause i knw he will. even though our race may bring us apart one day or so.. but i think.. he culd understand me better than anyone else. gees, i love him alot. haha. well.. many ppl were asking me how's things. in fact, we are still together and things turn out preety well after 7 months ++ . haha. yeah. i didnt knw that it culd be this long. but still, i wunt forget the times we shared together in secondary sch. i hope this is sumthing that i can be proud of when i grow up. a simple realtionship which taught me more bout life. ahah. so, i hope, things will remain the same between us and we try to get along much much better in the days ahead.

it's late now, till then.

i loveyou. that's the reason why. (:
accidentally in love?
i guess.. it still is. (:

2007-01-21T23:04:00.000+08:00

today, stayed at home the whole day except for lunch and dinner. haha. felt tired and restless all the way.. cause last nite.. talk to dear on the phone from 12 to 5.30am. he slept at arnd 5 plus too and woke up at 8 plus to go for work at 11. haha. pity him slept only for abt.. 3 hrs? haha. but stil, he can do his job preety well. (:

yeah. once again, im blogging late at nite. tmr going polyclinic with dear and OCBC bank to do sumthing. hais. tiring lah. but it's ok. mapling later with him, i think. haha.

till then.

fifo.

and btw. i heard the news. pls ppl, buck up. i knw u guys can do it. no time to lose. provided.. u guys give up TOTALLY. which i advice nt to. hais. even if, i shall be supporting u guys.

2007-01-21T00:19:00.000+08:00

sorry for nt updating these few days. cause.. seriously, i have nth to blog. haha. hmm. everthing seems fine except for sumthing happened at home. which i think i get it over alrd. lol. hmm. i dunno whether i shud say this or not. but well, i think i juz say it out of my own risk. haha. well. dear taught me how to play maple. ok. fine. stop laughing. i knw it will be ridiculous for a gal like me to play an online game. but.. wad to do? he's been bugging me to play since.. last year? bt seriously, i simply cant get the hang of online games or wadeva u call it. ok. so.. i started playin it. for ur info, i think my pride dropped by 40% due to that game. haha. seriously. i was like a stupid fool. i dun even knw anything. haha. first time playing an online game. sounds pathetic but still, abit alrite to me. haha. lol. still trying to improve on my skill. thanks to dear, he helped me along. haha. and sure, he was damn happy that i agreed to play. (: haha. yeah. and oh ya! one last thing. i think i will be going to the polyclinic or sumthing. i think the black patch arnd my mouth is like.. not going off? wanna see wads the cause of it. hmm. shall ask dear accompany me.
so.. till here then. its late now. shall talk to dear on the phone. (:

soLong.

2007-01-16T20:44:00.000+08:00

i dunno y, but i think. i miss skook so so much. yeah. i miss those moments whereby i would go arnd disturb ppl when they are doing their stuffs. and.. i also miss hopping on to 4e2 and search for qido. haha. yeah. haiz. 4e3. miss them lots. thats where i met dear and fell in love with him. lol. haha. it's true anyway. haha. (: yeah. and i willnot forget that corner back in class during poa class. haha. when mrs yeo going thru poa lesson.. i will doodle and doodle and doodle. haha. lol. sorry cher. hgaha. (: hmm. anyway, i miss the skool food too. haha. yeah, i knw it sounds kinky. but.. haha. lol. i miss it. (: hmm. yeah. and not to forget, i miss my classroom!!!!!!!! only god knws how i miss it!!! argh damn. kks. nvm. drop the topic.

hmm.. today nth much happened. juz meet up aqidah at HQ. (: den talk as usual. made birthday card for sumone. haha. (: til then, shall update more tmr. (: going for another job interview with qido..

and i loveyou.

2007-01-15T22:42:00.000+08:00

wokay. juz now afternoon went out with dear. compass point. haha. nice lah. great outing. run errands for mum after that. tiring! hmm.. wad else to update..

oh ya! band. i miss them! goodness!!!! must meet them on wed. dun care! haha.

erm. well.. last weekend was rocking. haha. my musketeers came to aunt hse. and goodness, they've grown so much! i wonder wad they ate. haha. yeah. played with Alysha. i love her so so much! (: her hair is simply gorgeous,i can say!. Danial. damn. hahaha. as usual, bump into everyone & EVERYTHING. yeah. that's how he got those bumps on his head. haha. and my active and super-fierce shyafiqa. aha. always going arnd shouting and screaming. and got this small problem of not wanting to wear her diapers after her bath. haha. & last but not least, left with nuryn. ok. maybe.. after all not the 3 musketeers. 4 musketeers, i shall say. cause.. nuryn is still a baby. haha. she's so fair. and i will never forget her sweet smile!!!

haha. yeah. i knw. these kids make me happy most of the time. haha. yeah. ok then. till here. shall update more tmr.

let's fall in love all over again.
forgive all ur mistakes
and be simply us.
the clock goes anti-clockwise now.
& let it be... 01-06-06.
Love Begins.

2007-01-12T11:54:00.000+08:00

was suppose to go for band today. but i simply cant. mum told me that one of our relatives passed away. i dun think i am that close to the family. but still, condolences to the family.

alrite. start off day as usual. ate bread for breakfast. den.. juz laze arnd. watch the tyra banks show. ok lah. nice. (: actually. seriously, i've got NOTHING to update. haha. well. shall update to nite ok? til then, i shal finds interesting things to do. hah.

2007-01-11T21:59:00.000+08:00

alrite. that's it. i got only 5 mins to blog. thanks to bro. coz he wanna play that stupid online game. lol. summarised version of today's event.

woke up at 8.3am. clean hse. went out to meet mum at her office at 10.30. caught up with her for lunch. ate ban mian at banquet. went watson buy sweet. bought waffle. went into a shop called japan home, which i think it's only a bit interesting. haha. yeah. suppose to meet dear after that. anyway, mum's office at boon lay. yeah damn far, i knw. went jurong point with her. so.. after that, nth to do, beep qido. arranged a meeting to meet her at hougang mall. went mum office awhile till 1.45 den left her. yeah. took train back again. my butt is seriously hurt from seating. haha. den.. went arnd hougang mall. qido ordered nuggets. yeah. so many kiddos from this sch which i think is really making a hell lots of noise. but nvm. wad to do? kids. haha. so.. after that.. bored. slack at my hse. qido was like full of nonsense. haha. as u can see, im in a rush now. gtg. haha. bro nagging alrd. damn! tc tc.

lala ala lala.

2007-01-10T21:39:00.000+08:00

went cp juz now, with aqidah. well.. juz had lunch togteher with her and talk abt latest events. ahah. ok lah.not tat bad though. haha. aqidah told me that her cousin work at the MOE thing.. and maybe.. ruslts will be out on feb. yeah. dunno true or not ar. but possible. haah. yeah.. so.. juz now.. slacked at the library with ehr. mendak like mad. haha.

oh ya, btw. i've alrd settle things with dear. finally sumthin gets into his head. =x. aiyoh. boys nowadays. haha.

i dunno wad else to update. juz that.. syf is coming near.. and im scared for them. gotta buck them up!!!! haiz. kks. till here.

2007-01-08T20:50:00.000+08:00

after 7 months together, this is my first time blogging abt the negative side of him. i dun really mean to do this. but.. somehow or rather, i have to let it out. arguments tend to happen in relationships. yes, of coz it does happen in mine. i dunno y. most of the time i blame him for the wrong things he did. y? becoz he is in the wrong. he admits it. ok nvm. but now.. im sick and tired of blaming him.. and nth gets into his head. maybe not nothing. but some of the things. yes, he's learning. but.. at sum point of time, i cant help it, but to burst out. now, all i got to do is to blame me. yes. me, myself. be it wadeva. as wad happened today,let the blame be on me, ok? im not being harsh or sarcastic or wadeva. i say it with my heart. juz put the blame on me. y? becoz i dun want things to get sour by another arguement. ppl may say.. why dont juz break up? i dun think thats the best way to settle things. there must be a way to it and i believe in that. yeah. sumtimes, i pity him.. coz always get scolded from me.. and he is having relationship for the first time in his whole life.. and the first time he really approach a gal with love. that's my weakest link and the reason why i always gave him chances to learn.

despite givin him all these chances, i dunno y.. sum things he do keeps me irriated and frustrated. yeah. maybe most of the times. i dunno y. last time im not so hot tempered towards him likenow. i juz dunno y.

dear, maybe i showed u my attitude or sumthing. im sorry for that. really sorry. but i juz dunno how to explain things to u. seriously, i dun. u dun even knw many things that i did, to keep this love alive. do u knw that how many times a day, i listen to those songs that reminds me of our love? how i talked to mum every nite abt the nice things u did to me? how i talked to bro abt how good are u in cars? how i talked to aqidah bout ur funny dialogues? how much i fight my fears of not losing u everyday? how many times i kept readin to ur msges every nite before i sleep? have u ever think of why i keep quiet out of the sudden, but at the same time, having a smile on my face? facade? im juz listening to the voice within. thats all. there's many things u have to learn. yes, i understand. but... it all takes time. and seeing u repeating those mistakes is like.. a knife being stabbed into my heart. for wad happened today at the airport.. yes, its a very small thing. but it reflects ur character to me. and im so sad abt that. u kept quiet all the way. every single second of that silence is killing me.

so now.. im blaming myself.
i blame myself for my silence too.
i blame myself for not talking to u nicely.
i blame myself for not understanding ur position.
i blame myself for crying.
i blame myself from walking away.
i blame myself for fallin in love deeply.
and.. i blame myself.. cause i cant forget u.

accidentally in love?
i wish and i prayed, it still is.
cause..
i've got u.

2007-01-04T11:36:00.000+08:00

mOrning!! haha. juz woke up arnd 10 plus? haha. quite bored lah. haha. bro went skool.mum and dad work. haha. alone seh. hhaha.. hmm. today going out.. with dear. watching death note 2. haha. watch the first part. and it'slike.. so nice. hahha. it's a muz-watch movie. haha. to me lah. haha. yeah.. meeting dear at 1.15pm s'goon mrt station. wondering wat to wear. (: today i heard got band.. but argh. alrd promised dear to watch movie with him since i off today from work. talking bout work, damn, i quit. lazy type here wad happened. haha. (: ok then. shall stop here. update again tonite. (:

soLONG.

2007-01-02T23:27:00.000+08:00

alrite.. i knw its kinda late.. but.. didnt knw y suddenly got the urge to blog. ahaha. hmm.. well.. yest was my 7month anniversary with dear. haha. so fast time passes by. well.. 31dec went countdown with family and relatives after hari raya haji. (: haha. den.. nearly met dear at marina there. but too bad lah. was damn crowded. afterall, i think he was tired after a whole day at work. hmm. yeah. its fun lah. celebrate new year and our anniversary together. haha. after the countdown went home..

the next day.. 1jan.. went out to town with mum, bro me and dear. haha. well.. lucky dear can get comfortable with mum. haha. or else.. phew.. i think it will be the most boring outing ever! haha. actually was suppose to meet him at j8 to catch a movie. but as usual, public holiday. all packed. den decided to go town. mum bro and i met him at plaza sing. den went taka and robinsons. ahaha. mum was like.. joking with him once in a while. ahha. nice lah. even though dear didnt really gave me anything as a present, but the outing was damn nice. haha. at least mum knew how gerald is like. haha. bro? dun mention. he was having a great time.. ahaha. as usual, active. ahah. den.. while waiting for dad to fetch us from town,dear bought me haagen daz ice cream..which i think it's kinda sweet lah actually. haha. (: yeah.. den talk with one another.. yeah.. and when dad reached, he make his way back home for dinner. my family went to changi for dinner and then to changi beach to meet relatives. went home arnd 1.30am.

today.. nth much happened. juz slack. actually.. there was sumthing happened. but. dun wanna write in here. argh. dun wanna talk abt it. but the whole afternoon went aunt hse.. juz sit arnd.. have tea time together. yeah. den juz now.. arnd 9.30 till 10.30pm talked to dear on the phone. he sang a song for me. so sweet. haha. even though his voice is quite bad, as i can say. hahha. sorry dear. haha. well.. its the thoughts that counts. haha. (: sang the song welcome to the black parade by MCR. and my heart will go on by celine dion. hahah. jokes. but hey. haha. fun lah. haha. oh ya. before that my bro was interrupting us on the phone. ahha. SUMTHING HAPPENED. and we 3 laughed like mad. haha. i cant tell, but looks like.. it will be the best joke ever. haha. hahahhaha. ok then. till here. lazy to type longer. yeah. plain lazy.ahaha. till then.

oh ya!! tmr skool starts. break a leg ppl! haha. im sure u guys can make it thru the year! (:

accidentally in love.

2006-12-29T21:16:00.000+08:00

ok.. yeah. been a while since i've blogged. hmm.. lets start with last tuesday, 26 dec. day after x'mas. well.. went out with dear. we went to.. town..watch a movie. the holiday. haha. nice show. (: we went to the cathay orchard. (: den.. had dinner at long john silver. and then proceed home. i love the outing.. haha coz dear really did lots and lots of bloopers. for example, he said.. "eh. i think my heart attack is coming" after he siad that, i think i really pity those ppl hu passed away due to heart attack. (no offence) cause.. if u knw ur heart attack coming, u can do sumthing bout it rite? haha. where got ppl knw their heart attack coming? as in.. it comes suddenly, rite? haha. lol. yeah. den.. we kinda played arnd at the serangoon interchange. chase arnd.. haha. fun lah. not many ppl.. coz.. its alrd at nite. haha. (: feel the childishness. lol. yeah. den went home. thanks dear, for sending me, even though we were still mad and insane. (:

ok. wed 27dec. WORK. haha. reached Rockery at arnd 7. shop havent open. yeah. it did abt 7.15. booked out at 12.30 on that day and then proceeded to band in sch. haha. fun lah. play my trombone again! haha. i dunno y, i think mr choy is cute lah. haha. as wad aqidah say.. "u crazy? u like mr choy?" hahha. im like. lol. no. admire only. esp his accent. (: .. yeah.. den.. kadri fetch aqid and dear fetched me. suppsoe to go to compass for qyuick makan session. but.. i cant make it last minute.. coz.. its kinda time consuming. den.. dear and i decided to go serangoon MacD. after that, guess hu we saw. MR AW. yeah. band conductor. i was like. hmph. haha. didnt he have to go home after the band prac or sumthing? y muz go there? haha. yeah. he was with sunarto and derrick. so, finally our secret is out. Mr Aw eventually knew i had a chinese bf. haha. after that, proceeded home. (:

now, thurs 28dec. met up with dear again. i dunno y, but i miss him so much. coz.. its been a long time since we met the last 2 weeks? yeah. went compass to look arnd. and we ate at pizza hut. walk arnd.. talk.. slowly had our meal.. den.. jzu talk abt our relationship. it was a relaxing outing. coz.. its juz the both of us. going out casually to a shopping mall. not town or anywhere far. spend abt an hour or so at pizza hut. had our chat, our pizza and laughter. (: after that, went to dear's hse. ok. his hse was like.. wow. so big. 2 levels. ok. haha. went up to second level of his hse and went to his room. goodness. he need lots of spring cleaning time. haha. he gonna shift to a condo at kovan melody soon, so.. gues.. the got tons of work to do. (: yeah.. den after going dear's hse.. went home lah. was raining heavily. ahah. when reach home.. mum was relaxing.. and she took out a present from her pffice which she bought for her staffs. well.. that was the extras, so.. she ask me gave it to dear.

so today! 29dec. went WORK. suppose to book out at 12.30, but too many customers. book out at 2. yeah. den meet up with aqid at sing post MacD and proceed to band. saw Mr Choy. again, i melted. ahha. cute lah. haha. den.. went to serangoon MacD to talk to aqidah bout sum stuffs. den dear wanted to meet up. so we did. yeah. i think thats all. too tired. busy with my own schdule. haiz. wish i culd have the whole day to sleep. but tmr meeting aqid and nurul at hougang mall. for tutorial for nurul. haha. so.. i think i wanna sleep slightly early. gonna meet up at 10am tmr. yeah. till then, waiting for dear to call me. (: nite!!

2006-12-23T17:45:00.000+08:00

there are a few things that i wanna update. but. haha. lazy. haha. yup. lazy. purely lazy. haha. ok. today..hmm.. sat. went off for work at 7 am. yeah. (: sadly, cant get the same shift as aqidah. ok. thats's sad. so.. finish arnd 12? oh ya. dear came and pop by at my workplace. seriously, that's so sweet of u,dear. well.. i kinda got this stupid sun burn on my face esp my cheeks. due to the swimming session. ahaha. den dear juz drop by and then.. gave me a sun burn cream that he bought b4 coming. haha. swit. thanks huh. he then headed for his workplace. ((: yeah.. den.. after work i headed home. helped mum with hsewrk. [ok. sounds innocent of me] but hey. i HELPED. (: haha. yeah. kinda bored nw lah. dear working. so i guess.. i have to look forward for my couin's engagement tmr. haha. yippe. (: cant wait to dress up. till then.

2006-12-18T19:44:00.000+08:00

wokie. here i cum again. well at least there's sumthing to update. haha. hmm.. today went for band. cool man. hahaha. really missed my trombone!! arggh! haha. but luckily i managed to touch it, feel it, kiss it, hug it.. (do i sond that pervertic?) haha! yup.. and did play the set piece for next year's SYF. haha. taught deana sum stuffs in music. (: really had fun with her. haha. den.. after that dear came to fetch me. sumhow or rather i managed to drag aqidah along. cause.. its not so good to leave her juz like that, even though its with dear. of coz dear wunt mind. afterall, she's our "daughter". haha. hmm.. zoomed to macD at SP. ahah. had a very enjoyable meal together. haha. love that. (: den we went walking back to the bus stop and headed to CP. hmm. hgahah. on our way... dear saw an ad on part time job on this small cafe. wel.. i dunno whether to call it cafe. ahgahah. cause.. i dunno how to describe it~! hahha. yeah.. den we took a look and ask the guy who need the assistant. and yeah. we found out that it was worth it and yeah! we wanna got here tmr and try to get the job. (: at least i will do sumthing than rottin at home! haha. hmm.. yeah.. den we went to CP. goodness. i wunt talk much here. but.. here are sum bloopers that dear, me and aqidah made when we were there.. :

1) at a cd shop....
aqid: eh! thats casper!
fifah: *i can see that*
aqid: and erm.. wendy.
fifah: wendy? x/

2) at cold storage......
fifah: aqid! is this free? (pointing at a recycling bag outside the cold storage)
aqid: ya ya! i think its free!
fifah: eh. take ar!
aqid: arh! take lah.!
fifah:[ saw a price tag. $9.90.] eh!! ya free!!
aqid: hahahahahhahaahahahhahahahahhahahahahahahahahah!!

3) aqid yawn.
fifah saw and she yawns.
gerald saw.. and he covers his mouth.
fifah: y dear?
gerald: prevent myself from yawning.
aqid and fifah: LOL.

4) at cd shop....
fifah: eh! thats polly!
aqid: it is? oh ya! its polly!
fifah: lol?

5) gerald: i sad sia. hmph!
fifah: huh? y?
gerald: that girl in jacket lah!
fifah: wads with that gal?
gerald: she dun let me play with that big control car on display! she keep holding on to it!
fifah: oh gerald!
aqid: [has been listening to the short convo] hahahahahahahha! daddy!!

2006-12-13T16:57:00.000+08:00

seriously, i dunno wad to update. been slacking these few weeks. since the end of o levels. haha. yeah. nth much to do.. still trying to get a job. bleah. most probably mum will help me on that. haha! oh ya.. yesterday went swimming with dear. ok lah. haha. fun. first time saw him swim. (: hmm.. tmr going for papa's bbq. at east coast. hope it will be a great one! cant wait to meet my dearest Aqid! (: haha. wanna bully her still. haha. kadri not in singapore. so.. must take this opportunity!! haha. but not too much.. coz dear will be there too! ahhah. ok then. till here. Au revoir!

2006-12-01T23:34:00.000+08:00

ok.. today was my 6th month anniversary with dear. well.. wow. guess time passes by so fast! (: haha.. yup.. and guess wad? haha. we celebrated with the Jam and Hop at Ngee Ann poly. haha. so called free concert. damn, that was totally fun. i did managed to make sum dance moves in front of dear. ahha. well well. wth. haha. oh ya. today had lotzza fun at the camp. goodness, i sang. haha. was touring arnd the mass comm area. haha. tried to record sum stuffs. and i became the singer. dear said it was nice. i was like. yaay. haha. den i became the cameraman awhile. ahahah!! fun sehh! haha. eugene became my partner for that. fun lah, in overall.but hey. it's 11.40pm. very tired. juz came back frm ngee ann. so..guess i gtg.. will update much more some other time. (: nites.

6 months was never easy.
however, i knew that our love was strong.
Gerald & Fi. Love.

2006-11-22T11:26:00.000+08:00

-* prom nite was awesome. i dunno y.. but i find that it was a success. hahas. well.. i dun think i shud mention alot abt it here. hahas. ok. firstly, the food was nice, i find. esp the prawn. everyone at my table was like.. munching on it. well.. syaq served me. but too bad my dear Gerald sat on the other table. Argh. he was like.. "hey man. can i change place?" hahahs. can see that from his looks. but nevertheless, we had small tinie-winie conversations. haha. well.. i guess yesterday was lucky. won a lucky draw. hahas. wth. pure luck. however, the best part was the photo taking session. everyone was like screaming away. wel.. i will miss those crazy ppl that will be leaving singapore soon. gees. i love them so so much. ok. that was it for yesterday. so..today.. i woke up at arnd 8 am. gees. i find it hard to get my bum bum off my bed. so so tired. slept arnd 1am.. haah.. yeah. well.. in the afternoon.. later.,. meeting gerald to go out. finally~!!!! he owe me an ice cream date at swensons. haha! till then. cheerios.

2006-11-15T21:10:00.000+08:00

-* hahha. ok. everyone was like.. "afifah!! update ur blog..!!! its alrd dead." no lah.. where got seh.. my blog not dead.. it fainted awhile only.. O levels mar.. hahas.. ok.. so far.. so good.. most of my papers done. on fri and next monday.. all i got to do is to shade either A B C or Ds. ahha. paper 1 mar.. haha.. for poa and combined sciences. well..wad to do.. juz dang on it lor. haha. yeah.. finally O level is passing by.. and it gonna end soon! yippeeeeee....!!

Hmm.. life? it was simply great. but.. there's this thing that im worried abt.. my past. haiz. long story. i knw i have to put my past behind and move on. but.. there's this thing that i think i really lost it. i dunno how to explain.. maybe it's because im graduating soon.. and.. all im left with is memories. i dunno. and i dun wanna know. cause if i knw the truth.. i think i cant take it. but.. no matter wad, im trying to look at the bright side of life! hahas (:

ok.. so.. after Os.. prom nite is next.. well well well.. hafiz and i was chosen to be the emcees.. well.. i hope we dun take too much time on stage.. coz.. i also wanna enjoy man! hahas. yeah.. i am sure we gonna heat up the place. alrd bought my dress and stuffs. ahahs. cool. so..maybe aqidah gonna come by my house to get her free make-over. hahhas. LOL. but hey. we wanna look great on that nite. hahas.

gerald? ok lah. he's doing fine. juz that 75% of the staffs knew bout us. bleah. but its ok. 5 months alrd.. wah.. so fast.. next 2 weeks.. 6 months. goodness. time pass by like noone's business.

ok.. shall stop here. nth more to say lah.. ahhas. till then. shall update before i go for the prom nite and after the prom. hahas. (: do KIV..!!

2006-10-14T11:19:00.000+08:00

-* i knw its a very dreadful morning to blog. i suppose i shud be drooling and having my sweet dreams still. but wth. o levels is on its way and i am on MY way to score and buck up. woke up arnd.. 8 and have a shower. 8.30 sat down on my table. took out a freaky maths paper. paper 1. ok. target.. 2 hours. so i should end at 10.30. but guess wad? i was too engrossed and was like.. i ended up doing it till 11.25. i was like. great. haha. but im happy though, i managed to get 75% of it correct. (: yeeha! hahah. thanks to mdm loh for giving me the confidence once again. (;

so yesterday.. had graduation ceremony. ok. at least my speech was not that bad. (: so.. got back my report book. yeeiks. wad a result. nvm. haha. den.. mr asmadi gave a heart-warming gift. haha. sweet. ahah. yup.. and after that i stayed in the library to meet up with ms yong for geog. and. yeap. i completed map reading.a fter that, all memory work for geog. well.. basically i think im doing fine. but not for maths and poa. crapz man. but still, i shall try to push myself harder. (: ok.. so... after meeting up with ms yong, did self-study awhile. den.. went home with dear. but wth. i broke fast in the bus with him. hahas. kinda late. coz we went compass awhile. hahas. well. i think thats all for now.

yeah. saturday morning.. i dunno wad else shud i do. maybe chem. and later ss. well.. heard im breaking fast outside today. cool. so.. till then, so long!

it was a success.
i dun wanna leave 4e3.

2006-10-08T11:53:00.000+08:00

-* Tralala. ok. boredom strikes. wad to do? ahhas. ok.. things seems normal, again. im not depressed or totally "purplish". ahahas. juz that.. things turned out very badly as i've expected these few days. and hey. i mean it. badly. haha. hmm.. yesterday went to adam road to break fast. yea yea. the normal stuffs. den went east coast. damn. the haze was so damn bad. mum was like.. "goodness. shudnt have gone out." im like.. -_-"... come on. u initiated to go out. hahas. talked to cousins there.. they had completed their N level. and im like.. killing another huge amt of brain cells for the upcoming o levels. goodness. ahhas. nvm.. shall work hard for it.. so.. yesterday was ok la. nth much.. after we went home from east coast.. i kinda talked to mum.. and have the normal.. family talk.. guess wad time? 2am. yeah. everybody was like.. snoring away.. drooling on their bedsheets.. ahaa. im like.. yakking.. laughing away with bro and mum. dad? watched tv as usual. dunno watched this tamil show thingy. i knw there's subtitle. but.. i dunno how can he understand their language.. cause he's turning on the volume so high! it was late at nite. if he undertsand wad they talking nvm arh. but. i dun think he understand tamil. but nvm bout that. he knocked out arnd 2.30am. i knocked out.. i think.. 3am. was eating bread with bro. hahah. ok. till then. i shall write again later. wanna study chem. (: take cares.

2006-10-06T09:41:00.000+08:00

Well. everything seems normal. but it isnt. i dunno why these few days my mood kinda very sucky. i think im all stressed up due to Os. i've alrd decided. im gonna put aside everything. be it gerald. or wadeva craps. i dunno. i find that everything is getting messy as time passes by. i think i get confused my feelings with the truth. yea yea. graduation ceremony will be on next fri. but wth. the stupid Os coming nearer each day. i find that my life is not normal. i dunno y. bleah. i really dunno. sumtimes i wuld juz shut myself up and study and.. juz me and the books. i dunno whether thats normal. coz.. u see.. when i say i shut myself up, i really mean it. i get irritated easily when sum1 disturbs me studying. or wadeva. fine. maybe it's small problem. but.. i dunno whether that big problem comes from gerald himself. yea yea. i knw. everything looked normal from the outside. but.. i find that..i simply cant get things sorted out. i dunno wad is the problem. but.. i find that he's not the guy that i knew from the start. seriously. well.. gerald.. if u;re reading this, i knw u may not get wad i meant. but.. hey. i'll be back to start afresh after Os. Till then, keep me close to u. Coz.. i may go away silently if u dun.

Accidentally in Love?
Yeah. It was.
But now.. i dunno.
HELP.

2006-09-19T18:12:00.000+08:00

Firstly, i admit. Yeah. It's been about.. centuries since i've blogged. So sorry. Was too busy. Ok. Wanna listen to a story? Come. Here it goes...

Today was juz another dry prelim-mood day for me. After killing my brain cells on Math Paper 2, i asked him where we ought to go. He said anything. I said ok. Sure. Go home. So we took 24. When it comes to my stop.. i began to wonder. Can i extend the journey? Then we decided to stop at Ang Mo Kio Interchange. Cool huh? (: So.. when we reached the interchange.. it's about.. 11.30am. Still early, i thought. So.. we looked at the list of buses.. heading to which part of Singapore. So.. den.. both of us caught a glance at bus 24 again, this time heading to Changi Airport. I dunno why i got this idea of going to the airport. So.. silly us, we took the bus to the airport. FOR FUN. It was a very long journey. And i mean it. It took us about..1 hour plus there. So.. we reached.. Terminal 2. The journey was tiring, sleepy and hot. Our seat is like piping hot. (: So.. when we reached there.. i was simply taken aback.. i didnt knw that the airport changed so much.. Well.. it's been a long long time since i stepped there. So.. he brought me to different parts of the airport.. while we were walking.. we kinda talked bout some stuffs that i find it so.. touching and.. i dunno why... makes me love him even more. So.. we looked at Sakae Sushi.. and more stuffs.. Den.. i asked him where is the place that i can view the planes. So there he were, holding my right hand, leading me to the Viewing Mall. When we reached there, i was so shocked by the space. It looked kinda smaller than the last time i saw it.. so there we were.. looking at two planes. How i wish i could travel as much as he do. But.. maybe i was not as lucky as him. But no matter wad, i will be travellin arnd the world one day. So.. i told him bout some of my experiences.. and kinda shared my past.. it was a very sweet moment indeed. I wanted to shed some tears.. and juz wanna give him a hug. But eventually, my conscience stopped me. I dunno y. So.. once again.. he took my hand and lead me arnd.. All the way through exploring the terminals.. i felt.. weird. I felt like as if he really love me than wad i thought all this while. Phoebia will be a phoebia. But.. in his love.. i dunno y. He may not be able to wipe away my sorrows. But he changed my sorrows to happiness. That is wad i think some guys cant do. After the whole journey at the airport.. we headed back home by train. As i took every single step home..i realized.. i'm taking every single step closer to him than any guy before. I looked out of the train and looked at him. I smiled and turned away.. This was wad my heart says..

" If he belongs to u, he will return every single time we part. If he smiles whenever he looked at u, we're always be in love. "

It may sound mushy.. but that was wad exactly my heart says.

Him? He's none other than my Gerald.

THE END.

It was not a Happy-Ever-After ending.. but it was juz another episode of our love story.

2006-09-04T23:03:00.000+08:00

My mum used to tell me that ppl come and ppl go.. well.. i got nth to say. my condolences to her family.

well.. it's been awhile alrd since i;ve blogged. dunno y juz culdnt find the time to do it. haiz. busy schedule. well.. today.. nth much la.. went to mac with dear to study math. fine. at least i;ve clear sum doubts.. but still.. more to catch up.. dang. haiz. so sian man. dunno wad to do besides studying all my way thru. well.. my frend kinda asked me to do yoga. erm. help. i dun do yoga. ahhas. maybe i shud learn lah. wad do u think? haha. afifah learns yoga. help. no way man. haha. i cant keep still for a min.. u asked me to do yoga? u sure or not? hahas. (: hmm.. tmr.. going out with dear..

life.. alrite. ok lah. nth much to update.. juz that.. i kinda felt abit moody.. these few days.. throw tantrum at ppl for no reason.. damn. i think i'm freakingly stressed lah. haiz. i think i did get angry with dear sumtimes. (sorry) ... haiz.. wadeva it is, i still cant avoid the o levels.. haiz.

alrite..t hink i shall stop here. wanna go to bed soon. yea. i knw its kinda early.. but.. frankly speaking. IM TIRED. tired of all the nonsense i got from ppl.. tired of my daily chores. tired of my work.. tired of my revision.. mentally tired. all i need is.. a bit of rest. please. all i want is REST.......

Hush now.

2006-08-28T20:52:00.001+08:00

Finally..! Phew.. after sucha long period of time.. i managed to blog! Weee. Hahas. Ok.. hmm.. juz completed my SS prelims last week.. hahas. Ok... i got nth much to say.. except that.. i wanna warn all students. READ INSTRUCTIONS BEFORE DOING A PAPER. Hhas. Yeah.. haha.. Hmm.. studies? Well.. Sept hols coming.. and i gonna buck up.. coz.. after that my prelims 2.. den.. bout.. 5 weeks more.. my o levels. Haiz. HELP. Haha.. (: Friends? Well.. ok lah.. getting much more each day! Love u all.. today we had this teacher's dAy party thing in class. Haahs. Fun like mad.. Hahas.. Yeah..
Hmm.. summore.. wad else i havent update? Hmm.. oh ya! Gerald. Hahas. Ok lah. We're getting closer each day.. well.. i dunno y.. many ppl are against this relationship of ours. Some teachers got to know bout us.. and stuffs like that.. but we wunt let our relationship affect our studies.. well.. i knew sum frends out there.. hu cant stand lookin at us.. i knw lah.. i mean.. im malay.. he's a chinese.. but.. wadeva we do there is an extent. We dun do things anyhow.. or lead our relationship like crap.. i dunno y.. sumtimes.. thinkin bout it..makes me sad.. coz.. many of them are not looking at our closeness in a positive way. But.. its ok. No matter wad, Gerald and i will guide each other thru the o levels.. and with that.. i hope our relationship grew. Thanks to my mum and bro, that give me the support. Yeah.. and summore.. ppl keep saying that gerald dun suit me.. as he cum from different family background.. but.. listen up ppl, b4 we make any decision, we alrd knew our backgrounds and everything. I hope u guys will knw us a bit more better, even though we wuld not want our relationship to be the "headlines". We're trying to fit into one another.. and yeah.. we are going against all odds. Coz.. We're breaking free.

-*MrG and MsA

"You know the world can see us.. in a way that's different than who we are.. "

-Highschool Musical.

2006-08-13T22:20:00.000+08:00

Ok ok. ppl pestering me to update. fine. i update. haha. nth much to say. cause many things happened lah. juz that i dun wanna talk too much bout it. of coz there's ups and downs abt it. but.. well.. wad to do? haha. oh ya. MT.. B3. haha. yup. aqidah was like.. with me all the way.. she got an A2. proud of her. she speak malay most of the time.. haha. told u that my malay corrupted. ok lah. still thinking whether wanna re-take. coz i wanna concentrate on other subs. la la la. hmm.. well.. frends? they rocked my wurl. i think every1 going bonkers.. and.. u knw.. go crazy together. haha. deprived seh. haha. gerald? ok lah. still going on.. doing fine. he kept on pestering me to buck up on my maths and poa. haha. ok ok. i will. hmm. family? they rocked my wurl the best man!!!! haha. this weekend got many family gatherings.. haha. enjoy like mad. talked to my cousins and joked with them like we never do it b4. haha. when stupidity strikes. wad to do? haha. kks. i think i shall stop here lah. gtg. wanna have my beauty sleep. haha. (:

till then

ACcidentally in luv?
Yup. Still Is. (:

2006-08-06T15:01:00.000+08:00

Ok.. 5th August. Wow. Long day. But.. eventually.. the band members.. made my day! (: Esp.. the sec4s arnd me. They're too sweet to be true. Ok.. day started up abit cocky. Hahas. Thanks to dad and mum. Send me skool so early. Hahas. Den met a few of my classmates there. Including Gerald. Yeah. Ok lah.. So early.. ASked Mr Ng to open band room. HAahs. Den.. saw Khairi. Den DAi Ling came over. Yeah. Den Khairi left. DAi Ling makan. So, alone. Gerald msg. Den.. saw more and more ppl coming. Kk. At least im not alone anymore. Hahas. had practice till about.. 3. Yeah. Sumthing happened. But.. haiz. Corrupted seh. Nvm. Den.. inside bus.. Fine. I went bonkers. But.. wad to do? SO bored. Happy abit lah. Or else so damn dry. Hahas. REached there. So damn fun like mad. HAhas. WEnt to this nursery place..hahahha.. cute sia. Aqidah trying her best to bare my nonsense. HAHAHA. Fun sia. Den.. there's sum changes in music plan. NVm. Lucky it's our very own BNU. BMB help BNU. So nice,rite? (: yEah.. den muz go through this security check thing.. haha. Aqidah was like.. ehh.. mouthpiece how? Im like..swallow it? Haha. Nvm. Den had lunch. Not dinner lah Aqidah. Haha. Yeah.. den played.. SM came. Ok lah. No comments. Saw performances by Kindergaten kids. SO DAMN CUTE. Haha. Hindi song.. (: After the whole performances.. went back to skool. With the BNU. Haha. Kecoh sia. So chaotic. Haha. When BMB + BNU = Chaos + Fun. HAah. Den.. when reached there.. called Gerald. Kinda missed him. Didnt talk to him whole day. Den.. he said he was like.. near our skool. Den saw him at traffic light. Ok. That sounds sweet. His family was like.. having dinner some where at the macpherson area? I dunno. So.. felt abit bad.. coz.. bus 62 came so fast. Den.. got to leave him. Everyone was like.. "WHooooooooooo" Aaron worst. "AFifah! Your boyfriend ar?" HAhas. Cute man that guy. HAhas. Yeah..den had dinner. WEnt home with aQidah. Hahas. Im like.. "Erm.. aqidah.. is there anymore bus? Coz.. its like.. 11.25 now.. im scared babe." HAhas.. she kept confronting me. Thanks dudette. That helped. Finally 156 came. Went home. Phew. Home Sweet HOme. Time? 12.05am. Parents and relatives at east coast. So.. had my wonderful time showering and relaxing. Gerald msg. Ok. I was dead asleep by then. Too tired. Sorry dear. Haha. Guess thats all. Fun lah. But got this stupid feeling in me. I DUN FEEL LIKE LEAVING BARTLEY. Dang!

2006-08-03T21:15:00.000+08:00

Hmm.. ok. Yeah. Been like.. centuries since i've blogged. WAd to do? Many work to be done!! HELP. Haha. Hmm.. today? Ok lah.. nth much happened. But.. wad i can say is that.. S3p today was damn fun. Guess wad? Shyaq brought up a topic on grind. Haha. I mean.. the dance grind. Hahas. GOODNESS. I cant imagine shyaq is doin that. HAah.. den i saw Sudono.. so mono... So.. wanted to "seduce" him.. but cant.. haha. Dear dont let me. Haha. Den.. went home with dear. Tired lah.. den once again, go MACs with Aqidah. Talked more crap. HAhas.. wad to do? Our HQ. Hahas.. SO far.. nth happened lah. There is lah. But.. sumtimes.. things in life.. it turned out to be ur darkest secret. HAhas. Kks. Till here.

-* Fifah

Accidentally In Love?
It's still is. (:

2006-07-25T20:21:00.000+08:00

Yea yea.. kinda felt tired these few days..dunno why.. maybe due to S3P. Yeah.. well.. studies? Ok lah.. not that bad, not that good. Doing juz fine. Hmm.. i think these few days.. i kinda... well.. tried my best in doing my work.. argh. Stress lah. But wad to do? Mus work hard for prelims and o levels.

Gerald*? Yeah.. Loving him more each day... dunno y.. but looks like.. he's great. He culd understand me the best.. be it my family discipline.. my studies.. my habit.. the way i do my work. Yeah. Well. Esp these few days.. kinda always exchange thoughts more. Yeah.. There's ups and downs of it. But each day.. i find that we're getting closer.. and.. could get along better. Yeah. Simply cant afford to lose him. Many ppl found a best frend in their boyfriend. But i found a boyfriend in my own best frend. He used to be there, to carry my burden away. And now.. he's not only carryin it away.. but to solve it together. Yeah.. it's tough. Coz.. he's a chinese. Gosh. I really thank GOd i found him as my special one. My Love, My Best Frend. Gerald*.

TAlked nonsense with Hareez in class during geog lessons juz now. HAHAHAHAH! Fun lah.. Gerald* me and HAreez always kena by SS cher. Haha. Talked so much. Haha. Dun worry cher. Only for today. Extra bonkers. I think.. i'll be ok in the days to cum. HAha. PERHAPS. (:

Till then. Love you guys.

Accidentally in Luv?
It's still is.

2006-07-19T10:24:00.000+08:00

Ok.. haha... yup.. muz be wondering why am i blogging in the early morning of skool time. Haha.. Geez.. i guess i'm being the naughty gal again, to blog in english class. Told u that wed was the best time for me to blog in class, as 2 whole eng periods we will be in the com lab. Haha. Ok. So wads fun today? So far.. nth happened yet. Haha. Juz that dear* came in late for class juz now. Had math test.. and.. started off late. Bout.. 8? I dunno. Den.. ended about 5 mintues later as usual..took physics period. Haiz. Heart pain seh. The mensuration qn.. i kinda get it.. confused. Haha. DEn the graph also retarded. Crap babe. Haha. Yeah.. Den as usual.. cher nv cum for bio lesson. Wuhuu! Haha. Nt that happy as always.. coz.. today.. got bio re-test. Haha. But den she nv cum.. bleah. WAd to do? Later s3p must do FYS. Haha. Yeah.. i think that's it for now. Coz.. i kinda surfing the net.. and stuffs like that. Haiz. Nth better to do. I dunno y.. eng lessons are always so damn dry. Hahas. Till then. TAta!

Accidentally in Luv?
I guess it still is. (:

2006-07-18T19:19:00.000+08:00

Today? ok lah.. haha. Juz being the naughty gal for today only. Haha. Starts off with math den chem. Den MT. MT lesson.. went thru the O-level listening compre. Idiot seh. Aqidah and I got 3 wrong. 6 marks down the drain. I felt like crying there. S*** lah. But nvm. Muz have a bit of confidence. Den.. hmm... recess. Did nothing.. except for talking to Shyaq, Aqidah and Anna. Discuss bout b'dae present. Hahas. Den bio. Free period. WEnt library. Kinda study sum stuffs. Haahs. Bout ppl's life. Hahaas. Den..POA. Bored to death. Den lunch. Dear* and me.. kinda.. havin fun arnd.. talkin non-stop. Den geog... split class. SAme class with dear* again. Haha. Did sum mind mapping. Dear* still cant stop talking and laughing. Haha. Den break time b4 proceeding with SS. Skool got this Heritage Carnival thingy at the canteen. Fun sia! WEnt looking arnd with dear*. Den Syafiq came with our muffins. Dear* went to class to take his wallet. Den.............

Me: Syafiq! Give me some! I take 1 for my dear* also.

Syafiq: Ok. Shud be more than enuff lah...

Me: Ok den. (:

Den i went back to class.. to search for dear*. At the corner of my eyes, i saw Syafiq reached class first. I was holding 2 muffins, for goodness sake. One for me, One for dear*. Den when i reached class, Ms Yong inside talking to Lothars and Stephen. I saw dear* took 1 muffin from Syafiq. Den i paiseh like mad. I alrd took from him. Den dear* notice me holding 2 muffins.

Me: Hey! I took for u alrd! All the way from the canteen.. from syafiq juz now!! Not fair! He reached first.. den u take from him. Haha. I was following him behind lor! TO pass this muffin to u.

Gerald: Alamak. Sorry. Didnt know. Hahaha. Sorry..

Me: (PAiseh like mad) HAhahahhahahahahhahah!!!!

Ms Yong: Aiyoh.. (:

WAh piang. I paiseh lor.. haha. Mus be wondering where i put the other muffin rite? I put it back inside the plastic bag. Haha. Den Syafiq jus smiled. LOL.

Yea.. den SS period. God.. i cant believe that cher ask me sit one corner of the class! I didnt do anything! Goodness. Haha. I was juz turning to Syafiq. Den she ask me to take my table and sit at the corner while she go thru SBQ qn. LOL. Dear* jus laughed and smiled. I laughed and smiled too. Hahaha! Kks...

Thats all for now.. need to study liao.. hahas.. TAke care!

2006-07-16T13:26:00.000+08:00

Ok.. hmm.. culdnt find time to blog on fri's nite. So.. i think.. today.. haha. Kinda bored.. nth better to do yet.. So decided to blog. Hahas.

Last fri was the best day of the week sia. Haha. Cool. Saw Hareez and Stephen playing the guitar. Haha. So sweet! Haha..it was arnd.. 3+? AFter Shyaq and i sat for a pathetic Geog Test. It wasnt a test actually.. Rite Shyaq? Hahas. Yeah.. den went down.. saw few of my classmates in the classroom. Hahas. Was sooo sooo sweet! Playing the guitar. HAhas. Esp Stephen, who kinda found the tune for the song "Here Without You" by 3 Doors Down. Haha. Oh God. I'm melting + subliamting there. Hahas. Yeah.. Actually.. they were like kidna practicing for these thingy called Bartley Idol thingy. Haha. Yup. My votes goes all to them! Haha. Rock on ppl!

Haha. Den at 5pm.. DEar sent me home. Gtg to uncle's hse. See the newly born baby. Goodness!! He's super adorable. Name? Mohd Syahmi. Haha. DAmn fair. Hhaas. Yeah.. den went home anrd.. 10+? 11. (:

SAt.. which is yesterday..went uncle's hse again. This time with relatives. Hahahas. Yeah. Much more fun. Eat alot, i can say. Bleah. HAhas.

Today.. very dry like mad. Dunno wad to do. I think madness gonna strike again, soon. Juz finish revising and doing hmwrk. Hahas, yeah. Maybe going toa payoh to do sum shopping with mum? I dunno. Kks. No mood to blog alrd. HAah. Shall continue later. Till then. TAta.